Morphing, Symbolism and Signs in Nature for Our Writing

A few days ago, I spotted a beautiful insect on my Puerto Rican grandmother's little wicker table that sits on my kitchen patio. I'd never seen anything like it. As I ran back inside to grab my cell phone to snap some photographs, I'd hoped it wouldn't fly away. My daughter's boyfriend told me what it was--a leopard moth.

Yesterday, I took a good look at this leopard moth and wondered if it was dead. It hadn't moved at all that I could see. So quiet and peaceful. I poked the moth lightly with my finger and it moved. What was it doing?

I wasn't sure if the insect was getting ready for something like morphing or coming to end of its life. I wondered if this lovely insect could fly at all. Perhaps it was injured or were its wings as decorative as the spots on its body, not really made for flying? The moth had moved to rest on a leaf of the pineapple top that I'm rooting in a glass of water last night. Maybe it was hungry. When I checked on the leopard moth this morning, it was gone. I was kinda sad and wished it well.

I love seeing and recognizing signs and symbolism in nature, so I thought about what this leopard moth might signify for me as a creative person. The ideas of morphing, change, rest, patience--the various stages of growth that the leopard moth had gone through resonated with me. It had morphed from caterpillar to chrysalis to moth. Quite a journey and here it was gracing my kitchen porch.

Over the last few years, I too have morphed as a woman, a writer and as an artist. At times, I'm crazy productive and other times, I've rested and gone inward. I've learned to preserve my creative energy and not burn out. I take breaks when I need them and if I need a week away from my novel or a painting, I take it--just because I'm not writing or have a paintbrush in hand doesn't mean I'm not being creative.

Much like this leopard moth, a lot is happening inside while I rest and am still. I may appear dormant at times, but I'm not dead! Rest and being still are an important stage in writing and being creative. I don't have huge swings of creativity aka I'm not up until all hours and then sleep for a week. But, I do listen to my mind and my body. I'm much more productive that way and I truly believe in things happening at the right time.

Timing is everything. One day soon, my first novel, A Decent Woman, is going to fly, fly, fly away like the leopard moth while at the same time, my second novel, Finding Gracia, is still in the caterpillar stage. I might feel sad to see my first novel go out into the world where I can no longer protect it, but my book is ready for that. I'm ready for that. My second novel is still where I can protect it and feed it dandelions until it morphs into another beautiful novel.

Peace and love to you,
Ellie

That Super Moon and My Quit Date

I've had this photograph of the moon in my laptop file for a very long time. I'm not sure if I took this shot as I'm a big fan of the moon or if someone else took the photo. If it's not an Ellie shot, I'm sorry and thank you. I love it!

One of the reasons I will remember the Super Moon of this past weekend is clear--it was a mad, crazy, gorgeous moon. I will remember that I saw it best last night, Sunday, June 23, 2013. But, I will mostly remember that date for a very good reason--I quit smoking on that day.

When I wrote the first draft of my first novel, A Decent Woman, I was a non-smoker. I'd quit for eight years...and then, I found myself separated from my husband of 25 years. I didn't smoke for a year during our divorce proceedings, but on my 50th birthday, I had one celebratory cig. Just one. Well, you know you can't have just one cigarette. A year later, I was a divorced lady and a 50-year old smoker. Fast forward five years and the habit was well-reestablished. Yesterday morning was my quit date and with the help of a close friend I hadn't seen in years and a gorgeous moon to gaze upon, I put the cigarette pack down.

I want to complete the first draft of my second novel, Finding Gracia on El Camino, (not 100% sold on the title) as a non-smoker. I want my non-smoking status to remain in effect until forever. I have adult children to enjoy and I want to be around for all of their joyful occasions and for my future grandchildren. Done.

Now, I write a blog about the writing life which happens to be MY life. So it would make sense that I share some personal things because what I experience in life has influences on my writing, why I write and the ins and outs of my writing and blog posts. Although I'm able to put 'my stuff' on the imaginary shelf above my head while I write my books, stuff, my stuff seeps into my blog. That's tougher for me. Very often, I view my blog as my journal which is what they used to be known as when I first started blogging in 2007.

I'm a good, solid writer and I'm 100% committed to writing and publishing books. I don't know it all and I'm learning every day. That's what I share in my blog posts with my readers--The Writing Life--my experiences on my path of writing books and seeing them published. I'm always going to be a student of life and a writer who learns every day. I do tackle writing challenges and the joys of writing in my blog, but not as an expert, but from my personal experience. I often blog about style, marketing, publishing, agents, and the writing biz in this my only blog, but my life also sneaks into blog posts. As much as I'd like to believe that outside 'stuff' doesn't affect my blogs and my writing, I know better. I sure does.

I'm a little groggy this morning and I know why. I've given up coffee, tea and red wine for a few months while I get a good grip on this non-smoking thing. All triggers for me. I haven't had a coffee or a tea this morning. I'm sure I'll go through caffeine withdrawals, as well. Great :) That's okay, a little headache is okay and it won't last long.

Off to make Dr. Oz's green juice. I need to detox a little more and I definitely need a week full of peace, quiet, serenity, calm and R&R.

Peace, love and ZEN moments in my path to a smoke-free life.
Happy Monday to you!

Ellie

The Strange Thing About Arriving At Your Final Destination

As I prepare to read my novel, A Decent Woman, aloud for what I hope will be the final time in the editing phase, I realize that I feel like I did when my children and I were one town over from the end of our two-week walk to Santiago de Compostela, Spain, the final resting place of Saint James.

We were so close to finishing El Camino, the medieval pilgrimage walk, and I remember it it was near sunset. My feet and heels had blisters the size of quarters. My kids and I were exhausted, mentally and physically exhausted from getting up at dawn and donning 20 lb backpacks and walking 20-22 miles a day in the Spanish summer sun until near sunset. Together, we'd walked 370 kilometers.

During our walk, I'd had visions of  my kids and I running into town, our destination. I'd say that we'd yell in celebration when we entered the town, hug and kiss each other, but as we stood on the hill with Santiago de Compostela in the distance that evening, I changed my mind. It didn't feel right to walk the mere 10 final miles  for some reason. I trusted my gut as I'd done when I decided to walk El Camino and drag my teenage children with me. I'd learned to trust my gut more and more on the walk and I've never deviated from those life lessons learned on our walk--our personal caminos. My kids agreed to wait.

I remember my children and I were silent as we looked down the hill at our destination. We were lost in our own thoughts about the walk and how it had all come about. At times, we hadn't believed that we could finish the arduous walk as we walked down country roads, through villages, trekked beside highways, and hiked up hills and mountains. My kids worried that I couldn't finish because of my blistered feet and I worried that my children would chuck it all aside and demand to go home. But, we hadn't given up. Home seemed so far away on that late afternoon, and crazy as it might sound, we realized that we didn't want our walk to end.

When we finally spoke, my kids and I expressed a desire to savor the moment. It hadn't been all that bad, had it? Yes, it had! We laughed and decided to enjoy a great meal, get a good night's sleep and enter the city fresh and clear in the early morning. I had dreamed of walking El Camino for years and here it was--the end. So close and yet, I wanted to wait.

Waiting to enter Santiago de Compostela was the best decision EVER. That evening, we had dinner with fellow peregrinos, pilgrims who had walked El Camino from various starting points around the world. Some of our new friends, all pilgrims had walked the entire Camino from France to the village we found ourselves in the night before the end and others had begun in Holland, Germany, Belgium like us, and we'd all heard the story of the 80 year old woman who'd walked our her front door in England, took the ferry from Dover to Calais, France and finished the walk. Others began their journeys in the US, Portugal, France and as far away as Japan.

There are many paths that lead to Santiago de Compostela. We'd all taken the path that made sense to us or the path that we found ourselves on at the time. During dinner we discovered the various reasons we'd decided to walk El Camino and the reasons were amazing to hear. There are as many reasons to walk as there are stars in the sky.

I'm glad that my children and I took the time to process our walk. We needed to process. And, as it turned out, we took two days. We loved the albergue, hostel, where we found ourselves and we enjoyed the pilgrims we came into contact with. It was clear that my kids and I needed to be alone with our thoughts and we needed to laugh about the things that had happened along our camino. 

My kids and I shared many laughs and stories with each other that night and there were tears, as well. Our lives had changed so much in two weeks and we knew we were different people. We also knew that when we returned to Brussels, the lives we knew would be different. My husband and I had just separated and my kids and I were heading back to the US after 13 years of living overseas.

My children and I had always been close, but walking El Camino with my precious children, when we were hurting, confused, and doubting a good future, was the best experience of our lives. I will never forget walking into Santiago de Compostela with my kids. We were overjoyed, hugely relieved, tired and we'd grown by leaps and bounds. I'm amazed we survived that walk and then again, I knew we'd reach the end.

This morning, I remember the night before we entered Santiago de Compostela because my novel is finished. I've sent out new queries and I want to be alone with my book for the day. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and with my last reread (aloud), I'm savoring every word. I remember when I started this book and where I was in my life. So much has happened to my children and I over the last few years. Some days have been difficult for us, but we're happy and healthy today.

Of course, I've already starting writing that book! I'm going through the journal I kept on the Camino, gazing at our photographs taken during the walk, and remembering how it felt to begin a journey and to come to the end. I'm in awe of what we accomplished and I marvel at our resilience, courage and strong bond of love.

Today, I'm going to savor the moment because I'll never write my first book again. It's been quite a journey.

Peace and love to you,
Ellie