Squash the Censors and Naysayers

When I left Northern Virginia and my job as a bilingual (Spanish) family support worker with a great non-profit, I had a plan and a dream--buy a small house and write full-time. I moved west where I could afford a home and finished my novel. I accomplished both in a very short period of time because I was motivated and probably a little bit nutty.

It has been three years since that moving truck pulled up to my new life. Was it easy? Yes, it was once I decided that was what I wanted to do. I was committed to my plan and the pieces fell into place very easily and very quickly. I decided and the Universe conspired with me to make my dreams a reality, but there were pros and cons

As I was renting, buying was a smart move although I live on much less than when I was working full-time. I've adjusted and it has been a steep learning curve as I'd never bought and financially managed a house on my own. I moved two hours from my adult children which was very painful, but I only saw my children twice a month and they lived ten minutes from my home. I loved working with my clients, but I was tired of running around with 27 client families and the paperwork...was just awful. I felt like a hamster in a wheel most days and creatively, I was stifled. There was little time to write and paint which I've done since I was in my early teens. I needed a creative life. Moving was the best decision ever and I've never looked back. There were sacrifices to make, however.

Is it still easy? No, it's not. I live retirement pay check to retirement pay check and tax season is always stressful, but with God's help and being creative and frugal, I manage. I still see my children once or twice a month which is great and I have met new friends in my new town. I try to take a road trip per month to visit friends and family which I love and my social life can be active if I choose. I love my home and I'm still working on this old house and garden which give me a lot of joy, satisfaction and peace.

The difficult parts of sticking to my plan are: sticking to my plan when money is tight and keeping the faith and my dream of seeing my historical novel, A Decent Woman, alive. I've looked into part-time jobs in my town, but they are either not available or the money is too low for the amount of time required. I want to write, period. To go backward and work full-time isn't an option for me. I've already lived my dream for three years, there is no going back in my hard-headed brain. I will make ends meet because I want this life and I must persevere. Worrying won't help. I must remain steadfast and confident about my novel and my historical novel-in-progress, Finding Gracia.

The most difficult part I've experienced is actually staying the course when rejection letters arrive and when I meet people whose faces seem to say, "Get a real job" when I say that my book hasn't been published yet. When I tell them that I'm working hard on getting an agent and a publisher the traditional route, I imagine that they're thinking how irresponsible I am. I 'hear' their thoughts out loud, "Time to give up on that dream, Ellie. Self publish your book." It's like a brief instant of pity crosses their faces and they're thinking how delusional I must be to continue to go after this dream of seeing my book in print, the traditional way. Of course, I have no clue what they're thinking, but it's like I hear those words. My censors are alive and well some days. 

There's nothing like meeting new people to shake your firm foundation a bit and it's even harder with friends and family who know you well. Of course, this doesn't happen often, but when it does, it seems that all the good wishes and support instantly fade away. That's when I begin playing mind games with myself. I remind myself WHY I moved and WHY I must write. I believe in my novel and I love my story and characters. I have to silence the censors and naysayers in my head! When this happens, I take a walk or a short drive to clear my head. I remind myself of the difficult roads for all authors, including best selling authors. I visualize myself signing a stack of my books on a book tour and signing the contract for my second book. These tricks usually work and before I know it, I'm writing again.

I remind myself about how fortunate and blessed I am to do what I'm passionate about. I'm grateful for the opportunity and gift of writing full-time and very blessed to have a roof over my head. My children are happy, healthy and successful and I live alone with little or no distractions.

NOW, if I could just win the lottery...

Ellie

Going Solo and Taking Risks in Life

I replaced the power cord on my laptop last year and was back in business. This morning, my newish power cord didn't do the job. I'm borrowing my neighbor's power cord and had to apply plumbing tape just to keep it plugged in.

Ellie Unplugged. I don't like the sound of that, so my son ordered me yet another power cord. Thank you, son! I just pray it's not my laptop...that would suck royally.

I love new beginnings whether it's me, someone I love or a complete stranger. I love challenges, new experiences and new vistas and my children are no strangers to new beginnings. We started new lives in the United States after my marital separation in Belgium 2005 where we'd lived for 13 years. I taught my children by example to embrace new beginnings and take risks in life and they are certainly following my lead--my son is taking a three week "lone wolf" trek through Southeast Asia next month.

My initial reaction was a dropped jaw as I heard the news from my son on the phone this afternoon. But I know my son--he will research everything he can possibly research and he's travel savvy enough to know that he has to be careful and watchful. He has consulate phone numbers, train schedules and names of hotels on the way, but he's solo. I'm thrilled and worried at the same time. However, I raised fearless children and that makes me proud. I shouldn't be surprised that he is ready for this international trek.

My son invited his sister, my daughter, on this trip which really warmed my heart. But she is in graduate school and working part-time, not a good time for her. I'm PRAYING that she can go on one portion of the trip as she has always wanted to visit Southeast Asia. I think this would be a great trip for them both. My daughter is on her own adventure with graduate school and her new beginning will be when she graduates--she's a natural born therapist. I'm as thrilled for her as this is her passion in life and the happiest day will be when she graduates and my other happiest day will be when my son returns from this "lone wolf" trip!!

I joked with my son that I had time off and could go along on his adventure and knew that he'd laugh--he did :) It's not my place to go on this trip or any trip that my children go on these days. These are my children's life adventures and I'm thrilled for them. I did good with these two. I'm so proud of their life's achievements and their courage in the face of adversity when it has hit. I couldn't ask for any more from my children--they amaze me and I love them more than life itself.

Writing a book takes a lot of the same things that we're talking about here--risk taking, stamina, courage, resilience, strength of character, facing rejection and setbacks, and love of our stories and characters. Writing my first book, A Decent Woman, was a new chapter for me and seeing my book in print will be a whole new beginning and I'm more than ready for that!

Take the risk for your dream and passion in life--you'll never be sorry you did. Just put one foot in front of the other and walk toward your new beginning.

Peace and love,
Ellie

Happy Birthday, America!

The United States of America is 235 years old today--Happy Birthday, America! The finale tonight in Washington, DC is to include 3,000 fireworks in 17 minutes!

When I was young, I couldn't wait for the sun to go down on the Fourth of July. My mom would pack us up and walk us to the nearest park no matter where we lived. I remember walking too fast for my mother's comfort and her fear that my sister and I would get lost in the heavy crowds. Every boom and grouping of shooting stars illuminating the dark skies made my pulse race and every combination was better than the last one. My sister and I would yell out our favorites as the lights above us shimmered and shone on practically every surface around us, to include my eyeglasses. And then, the much-anticipated finale! It doesn't get much better than that.

In my 20's, I worked at the Pentagon and enjoyed the concerts and shenanigans near the Washington Monument with friends and my younger sister. Early on the 4th, we'd staked our claim to a little plot of land on the National Mall with a blanket and a cooler full of alcoholic drinks (those days are over!), listening to band after band and getting way too much sun. The finale in Washington, DC was always spectacular and the party afterward was always fun. I have great memories of meeting wonderful people from all over the United States and abroad.

As a young mother living in the Washington DC area, I did the same thing with my kids--I packed up the car and off we went. Some years, we watched firework displays locally and other times, we headed to the Mall in front of the Washington Monument. One year, we sat beneath the Iwo Jima Memorial along the Potomac River. We never missed the displays until we moved to Europe as a young military family in 1993. While living in Europe, we enjoyed annual 4th of July American community picnics, but there were no fireworks in Vienna, Austria nor Brussels, Belgium as there were no US bases near us. We ended up living in Belgium and France for 13 years and I missed those firework displays.

When my kids left for college in the US, I returned to the States as a newly-separated woman. I rented a house on a hill in Frederick, MD where my kids and I watched the fireworks from lawn chairs on our front yard. We watched them together for a couple of years while they were in college until they graduated and moved out on their own. Soon, they had their own friends to watch the fireworks with and I made new friends and reconnected with old friends.

As a single mother of adult children not living at home (shouldn't that be--SMACNLAH?), I've joined new and old friends at firework displays on the shores of Lake Anna in southern Virginia, along the Potomac River in West Virginia, and on a beautiful sailboat in Plymouth Harbor in Massachusetts which was awesome! One year, I was headed to dinner with my kids in Washington, DC a few days before the 4th and I saw fireworks from Memorial Bridge. I stopped my car and thoroughly enjoyed the spectacular display by myself. Last year, friends and I watched the fireworks from our river place. I was impressed by our river community, they put on a super display.

Tonight, I have no plans. For the first time, I have no plans to watch the fireworks of the Fourth of July. My city isn't hosting fireworks because of a shooting last year involving a child. I'm a bit afraid of joining the huge crowds in Washington, DC in light of the massacre at the Boston Marathon and boy, does the unrest in Egypt and Syria worry me. We're living in a different world today.

There will be no coolers or backpacks allowed in firework locations in Washington, DC and everyone will be searched. It saddens me that we've lost a bit of innocence, but all the precautions are necessary. How safe can we really be in public places? Very, very safe, I hope and pray. I pray for my children, family and friends wherever they are tonight. But, we can't allow fear to grip us and cause us to stay hunkered down. That's not who we are.

So maybe I'll call my friend and take a little ride tonight. She grew up in my adopted city and I bet she knows all the best places to view fireworks. It's just not the same watching the fireworks on TV :)

Peace, love and safety to you and yours.
Ellie

Clearly Not the Vienna I Knew!

I visited my BFF in Vienna, Austria for two weeks this past April. The trip was my first time back to Europe in five years and the first time in Vienna since my children were three and one years old. Nearly 26 years had passed and I didn't always have great memories of that time in my life.

I was a young American mother of two toddlers and Vienna was a very proper city with very proper Viennese people. It was a grown up city with old world charm where people dressed well even when they went to the market which used to be two times a day. Elderly ladies I didn't know often chastised me on the trams and buses in German for not dressing my children properly in summer, in the rain or for not putting hats on my children in the fall. I was learning German at the time, but it didn't matter--I knew I was being chastised!

Vienna hadn't been my favorite posting as a young Army wife. We were the first American Army family to live in the city,so we broke ground in many ways. Life was tough. We had one car which my husband took to work every day which left me with public transportation. Not an easy feat with a bulky stroller and two toddlers. My husband, two children and I lived in Vienna for three years and my mother's three month-long visits during that time kept me sane :) Life became easier during our third year as the children were older and when I could defend myself in German against the 'old lady brigade' on the trams. You'd best believe I learned to listen for the weather before leaving our house and dressed my children accordingly! Ha!

The historic city center of Vienna was the same as I'd remembered with the grand palaces, many Gothic and Baroque cathedrals and churches, and old world cafes. That hadn't changed a bit. Vienna is a beautiful, fascinating and clean city, no doubt about that. But as K and I descended the stairs to take the boat tour of the city, I was blown away by the fantastic street art I saw along both sides of the Danube River that runs through the city. What an unexpected surprise! I looked around half-expecting the graffiti police to run down with white wash in hand! There were some pieces that were clearly political and I'm sure they ruffle some city feathers, but for the most part, the graffiti was pleasing to the my artist's eye.

The Vienna I knew 26 years ago was not a city that would have smiled on or tolerated graffiti. I was almost giddy when K went to the ticket booth to buy our cruise tickets, I took a dozen photographs with a huge smile on my face. As an artist, I have a great appreciation for any form of artistic expression, but this took the cake! How had this freedom of expression happened and was it really tolerated?

I don't know when street art became accepted in Vienna, but it was great to see that the prim and proper city I remembered had relaxed. I love when modern and old come together. The past and the present. The result is often vibrant, alive and beautiful. The Viennese have always had a love and appreciation for art, music and culture as do I, but seeing this young form of expression really made me happy for a different reason--the city seemed to have evolved and changed with the times. Had the city embraced street art or had they tired of painting over it, I wondered!

Before the boat tour left the city area for the pastoral part of the cruise, K and I saw throngs of young people sunbathing along the river and enjoying the open air cafes. Young people everywhere waved at us as our boat passed by. I loved seeing the young clearly enjoying themselves among the graffiti--their personal art gallery. I had to chuckle. Had the Viennese powers that be, given the young Viennese their own area along the river? Had the agreement been to keep street art out of the city center and the communes of Vienna in exchange for the river area? Well, it worked for me and apparently, street art in Vienna is alive and well! I loved it and the rebel side of me cheered them on ;)

The weather was glorious that day. K and I had a great time sipping white wine spritzers along the Danube and taking photographs, but was it the best cruise we'd ever been on? Not really, but the street art made it special for me and spending time with K in her newly adopted city was awesome. Kudos to all the artists!

Peace and love,

Ellie

The Choices We Make in Life

I can't say that this week has been a fruitful writing week. I was so far behind with chores that I couldn't focus on writing for very long. I hated it. After a couple of days of trying hard to push 'things' out of my head, ignore the mess around me and get stuck in my second novel, I just gave up. Housework won.

Ellie-loss. House-win. It happens, but I don't get bogged down and fall into a slump. I know things have to get taken care of and I write better when I'm focused and energized. I know the house will be here long after I'm gone and I tell myself that, but I've also run out of paper plates and plastic bowls and Solo cups! It was time to clean, wash and put away. I did manage to connect with friends and family this week and that was wonderful.

My cyber friend Linda (who I've never met in person) has always pulled my chain about all the stuff I do and get accomplished :) She jokes about my desire to have it all and get 'er done! Okay. I write, I paint and exhibit my work, I garden, I take road trips with friends, I host gatherings at the river, and I take photographs. Creatively, you won't find anyone happier to do what she loves than me. I'm grateful, blessed and I know it. BUT, I also created a world that would give me the opportunity to write and be creative. And, so can you. I felt an urgency to change my life nearly three years ago and finish my first book started many years ago.

I moved to an area that I could afford, bought a house that I could well afford, and I live frugally, but living frugally doesn't mean I'm lacking a thing. It just depends on what makes you happy. I wanted to write full time, so I had to learn to live with less monthly income. Sacrifices had to be made.

When I decided to change my life, I imagined myself like a balance with arms outstretched, palms up. On one hand, I put living in the DC area, paying through the nose for a large, beautiful townhouse and working my ass off for little pay. I lived ten minutes from each of my kids and I had friends nearby which I loved, but I was also stressed out, overweight, frustrated with my pay, and lacked of creative life.

On the other hand, I put a better life for myself. I envisioned myself doing what I love and am passionate about, living in a largish, small town, and owning my own small home. I put writing and painting, puttering around my perennial garden, and my Pug playing in the yard. I knew I'd have to leave my children in the DC area and it pained me, so I searched for a home one to two hours from them. I found that house. I am able to visit my kids one to two times a month which always makes me very happy.

The balance (and my soul) tilted so much toward the creative life that the DC townhouse, the job and the stress fell out of my hands and I liked how that felt. I began my search for a new life and a new home. I could feel the weight lifting off my shoulder as I searched and when I finally bought and moved, I remember the joy and peace I felt seeing the DC area in the rear view mirror of my car. My heart was happy as I drove through the countryside and around the mountains to my new home. I'm still happy here and I love the life I've created for myself.

Yeah, I don't have a dishwasher, the water pipes are original to this old house and water pressure sucks and I don't have central AC, but the house is mine. I downsized and every six months or so, I get rid of items that I no longer need and that don't serve me. I don't always have extra money for travel and dinners out and I do stress about money, but who doesn't? Every time that I bemoan the fact that I don't have extra money for travel or new plumbing, I remember that I'm blessed to own a home. And, I write for a living. Done.

When I get a good bit of writing done, I go outside and weed. I have a small yard, a courtyard patio and I live in a small three bedroom duplex. I water my plants and vegies, take photographs of them and I sweep the patio. I go back inside and write for a few more hours. I might go back outside and repot a plant or paint a wall of my outdoor shed and go back inside to vacuum the rugs which are always hairy with a dog and a cat at home. The breaks I take from writing help me decompress, think and clear my head. A beautiful garden feeds my soul and make me happy. Yes, they are distractions, but they also feed me emotionally and spiritually. They fill my well. The major distraction for me with writing I discovered isn't my garden or house--it's the Internet. Can't live with it and can't live without it!

So, Linda :) Watch out, girlfriend! I'm going to continue to be like the US Army and get more done before 8 am than anyone you know!

Happy weekend to you all!

Peace and love,
Ellie

The Strange Thing About Arriving At Your Final Destination

As I prepare to read my novel, A Decent Woman, aloud for what I hope will be the final time in the editing phase, I realize that I feel like I did when my children and I were one town over from the end of our two-week walk to Santiago de Compostela, Spain, the final resting place of Saint James.

We were so close to finishing El Camino, the medieval pilgrimage walk, and I remember it it was near sunset. My feet and heels had blisters the size of quarters. My kids and I were exhausted, mentally and physically exhausted from getting up at dawn and donning 20 lb backpacks and walking 20-22 miles a day in the Spanish summer sun until near sunset. Together, we'd walked 370 kilometers.

During our walk, I'd had visions of  my kids and I running into town, our destination. I'd say that we'd yell in celebration when we entered the town, hug and kiss each other, but as we stood on the hill with Santiago de Compostela in the distance that evening, I changed my mind. It didn't feel right to walk the mere 10 final miles  for some reason. I trusted my gut as I'd done when I decided to walk El Camino and drag my teenage children with me. I'd learned to trust my gut more and more on the walk and I've never deviated from those life lessons learned on our walk--our personal caminos. My kids agreed to wait.

I remember my children and I were silent as we looked down the hill at our destination. We were lost in our own thoughts about the walk and how it had all come about. At times, we hadn't believed that we could finish the arduous walk as we walked down country roads, through villages, trekked beside highways, and hiked up hills and mountains. My kids worried that I couldn't finish because of my blistered feet and I worried that my children would chuck it all aside and demand to go home. But, we hadn't given up. Home seemed so far away on that late afternoon, and crazy as it might sound, we realized that we didn't want our walk to end.

When we finally spoke, my kids and I expressed a desire to savor the moment. It hadn't been all that bad, had it? Yes, it had! We laughed and decided to enjoy a great meal, get a good night's sleep and enter the city fresh and clear in the early morning. I had dreamed of walking El Camino for years and here it was--the end. So close and yet, I wanted to wait.

Waiting to enter Santiago de Compostela was the best decision EVER. That evening, we had dinner with fellow peregrinos, pilgrims who had walked El Camino from various starting points around the world. Some of our new friends, all pilgrims had walked the entire Camino from France to the village we found ourselves in the night before the end and others had begun in Holland, Germany, Belgium like us, and we'd all heard the story of the 80 year old woman who'd walked our her front door in England, took the ferry from Dover to Calais, France and finished the walk. Others began their journeys in the US, Portugal, France and as far away as Japan.

There are many paths that lead to Santiago de Compostela. We'd all taken the path that made sense to us or the path that we found ourselves on at the time. During dinner we discovered the various reasons we'd decided to walk El Camino and the reasons were amazing to hear. There are as many reasons to walk as there are stars in the sky.

I'm glad that my children and I took the time to process our walk. We needed to process. And, as it turned out, we took two days. We loved the albergue, hostel, where we found ourselves and we enjoyed the pilgrims we came into contact with. It was clear that my kids and I needed to be alone with our thoughts and we needed to laugh about the things that had happened along our camino. 

My kids and I shared many laughs and stories with each other that night and there were tears, as well. Our lives had changed so much in two weeks and we knew we were different people. We also knew that when we returned to Brussels, the lives we knew would be different. My husband and I had just separated and my kids and I were heading back to the US after 13 years of living overseas.

My children and I had always been close, but walking El Camino with my precious children, when we were hurting, confused, and doubting a good future, was the best experience of our lives. I will never forget walking into Santiago de Compostela with my kids. We were overjoyed, hugely relieved, tired and we'd grown by leaps and bounds. I'm amazed we survived that walk and then again, I knew we'd reach the end.

This morning, I remember the night before we entered Santiago de Compostela because my novel is finished. I've sent out new queries and I want to be alone with my book for the day. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and with my last reread (aloud), I'm savoring every word. I remember when I started this book and where I was in my life. So much has happened to my children and I over the last few years. Some days have been difficult for us, but we're happy and healthy today.

Of course, I've already starting writing that book! I'm going through the journal I kept on the Camino, gazing at our photographs taken during the walk, and remembering how it felt to begin a journey and to come to the end. I'm in awe of what we accomplished and I marvel at our resilience, courage and strong bond of love.

Today, I'm going to savor the moment because I'll never write my first book again. It's been quite a journey.

Peace and love to you,
Ellie

Why We Write What We Write

Last month, a girlfriend dropped off a book for me to read during my travels--Don't Pee on My Leg and Tell Me It's Raining by Judy Sheindlin as in Judge Judy Sheindlin. Fantastic title for her book of nonfiction! I'm not a huge Judge Judy fan, but when I've caught her show, I've laughed at her astute observations and raised an eyebrow at her sharp tongue that often spews out acidic comments at the people who walk into her court room. Can we say reality check? It's tough to get one over on Judge Judy, the epitome of reality, rules, and laws. I think Judge Judy is awesome and the book is on my stack of books to read this summer.

Can we imagine Judge Judy writing a romance novel or a YA novel? Hard to imagine, right? Well, Judy Sheindlin is a mother of five. If anyone knows the heart and mind of a child, teenager and young adult, it would be her. In her acknowledgment page she writes, "My husband, Jerry, is the excitement in my life and my friend. I love him so much, I married him twice." That's romantic, right? Beautiful. Don't judge a book by its cover...

Do you worry that you write in too many genres and won't be taken seriously in any genre because you're scattered here and there? There are many facets to each of us and it's no surprise to me that authors write in many genres. Some writers and authors KNOW where they belong and are headed; they remain in one specific genre all their writing life. Good for them! Some kids know they'll be a dentist or a lawyer when they grow up and voila, it comes to pass. Some kids like me, however, were/are creative. I didn't like being in a box, being labeled or being put into a box. I still don't. It takes all kinds...

I've written an historical novel, A Decent Woman, that deals with women's issues in 1900 Puerto Rico mixed with murder, Santeria, spiritism, death and lies. My second novel, Finding Gracia, which I'm writing now, falls into the historical genre, as well. The second book is a coming of age, love story mixed with history, mystery, mysticism and a little of the paranormal. I have a murder mystery series in mind and I've dipped my toes in YA fiction. I also write poetry, lots of poetry with symbolism, fantasy and the metaphysical. That's a lot of genres, right? Sometimes, it's difficult to stick to ONE genre as we write and I would venture to say that most authors and writers have dabbled in other genres or write with a nom de plume.

However, there is one common denominator in my books and ideas that you may have picked up on - the mystery of the unknown and the metaphysical. Why? I'll tell you why.

Like Judge Judy must be described, I've been described by friends and family as a realist. A no-nonsense woman who asks the hard questions. If you ask me a question and want the truth, ask me, I'll tell you what I think. If you don't want to truth, I won't bring it up. I've worked as a counselor, a refugee case worker, a residential treatment center staff member for kids 13-21, and up until two years ago, I worked as a bilingual family support worker in the DC area. My main resume might tell you that I'm an advocate for children and women, that I'm socially conscious, liberal, compassionate, empathic, and that I must be tough and thick-skinned. You'd be right, but never as tough as Judge Judy!

The other sides to me are my spiritual, religious, and mystical sides. My other resume shows that I've worked in the piscines, the baths of the Sanctuary of Notre Dame de Lourdes in Lourdes, France for over 13 years. I've led pilgrimages to the Sanctuaire and it is my favorite place in the world. I'm also a Reiki Master/practitioner, trained in Belgium and in the UK. Surprised? I joke that my realism comes from my New England roots and my spiritual and mystical side comes from my Puerto Rican roots. True enough and my family is Catholic on both sides. Plenty of mysticism in the Catholic Church and in Puerto Rico.

I had a Reiki practice in Belgium and today, I work on family and friends when I'm asked. Next week, I'm interviewing for a freelance job as a Reiki practitioner for a hair salon/spa in my area. Last year, I wrote a blog called Practical Spirituality 365 where I wrote a blog a day about spiritual and religious issues. So you see, it's not far-fetched for me to write with these themes in mind, they resonate with me. I've lived them.

My life experiences prepared me to write the books I write. As I look back, my life experiences were my education, my tuition. The 'good' and 'bad' experiences have made me who I am today and they've made me the writer I am. No one can tell my story but me.

My advice to you? Just write. Write what you know and are passionate about. Don't get bogged down with genres and worrying about which 'box' you fit in as you write. Just get the words down and worry about that later!

Peace and love,
Ellie

Planes, Trains, Metro and Automobiles

No, I'm not dreaming of a white Christmas nor is it anywhere near December. My sister posted this photograph of us on her Facebook page and I nabbed it. As with old family albums and lack of know-how, my sister and I share the albums which means she has many photographs that I don't have and vice versa. I don't have a scanner at the moment and would love to purchase one so that we each have a complete family album.

Photographs. Many people complain about Facebook and many have decided to jump ship through the years for various reasons, but I have to say that enjoy it. Many days, I have to force myself NOT to check FB. It can get addicting. I have friends in many corners of the world and this is how I keep in touch with them. I keep up with my kid's and family's news, chronicled with photographs. If I lose my camera or my iPhone, well my photos are relatively safe on FB. If I drop my laptop and shatter my hard drive (which I've done) and lost it all, my photos are safe on FB.

Social media. Author platform. Many have a love-hate relationship with social media and authors...well, get used to it. It's now part of the author/publishing/marketing experience. There's no escaping Facebook, Twitter, writing a blog, reviewing other authors, and writing essays in magazines and ezines, it is what it is. Much as I dislike tooting my own horn ad nauseum (that's what it seems like to me), I know that I have to keep up-to-date and active on these accounts. I must put myself  'out there' for my novel's sake and for the sake of adding numbers to sales once I'm published. Yes, I'm taking the positive route here.

On being published. Well, that seems a long way off on this chilly Spring morning in Northern Virginia. I spent three wonderful weeks in Europe with my friend and her family, flew back to the US a week ago and four of those days were spent in Northern Virginia with my super kids, family and friends for my nephew's graduation, a cemetery visit with my friend N and for Mother's Day which was amazing! Tonight I head to my friend's N's daughter's house. I haven't seen her since her Mom passed away. Should be an emotional evening and I'm happy to be with her and her children for one night. Then, I head home tomorrow afternoon.

NO complaints. But...I'm ready to get home. I want to fully unpack, wash my clothes and wake up in my own bed, make coffee in my coffee press, fire up my laptop, kiss my furry children, check and enjoy my garden, and return to my normal routine. I'm excited for my writing routine to commence as well after nearly four weeks away from my novel-length manuscript, A Decent Woman. It's time to put the pedal to the metal as they say. I have some work ahead of me before I can resubmit my manuscript to the NY agent.

Precious moments. Although I'm a bit weary, I wouldn't change a thing about the experiences I've had this past April and May. I never dreamed I'd return to Europe. I ran for domestic and international flights, found the Viennese house I shared with my ex-husband and two beautiful children 25 years ago, I walked through Austrian vineyards, up cobblestone streets and snuck under a fence to reach a heuriger for a icy cold Radler beer with my friend K. I marveled at Gothic and Baroque architecture in Vienna, onion-topped Orthodox churches in Romania and was introduced to Gyor, a Hungarian city I'd never been to. I rode an elevator up to the top floor of Stephansdom to view the frescoes, visited nearly every church and palace in Vienna, and witnessed an awesome lunar eclipse as the full moon rose over the Carpathian Mountains as my friend K and I approached Brasov, Romania. I shared my nephew's happy graduation and had the most beautiful Mother's Day with my children. I visited with my departed friend N at her grave site. I will miss her.

Tomorrow afternoon, I'll be on the train home.

All blessings, every single one. Special memories.

Peace and love,
Ellie

Finally, Home Sweet Home.

Boy, am I happy to be on land and to sleep in my own bed! I departed Vienna, Austria on Monday at 7:40 am, headed to London where I had a six hour lay-over. I had tried to reroute my trip through Brussels, Belgium instead of London to have time with in-country friends, but the cost to change that leg of my trip was outrageous. Just not possible or feasible for me at this time and I knew I could keep myself busy at Heathrow Airport with my Kindle and with people watching.

However, six hours are six hours and they dragged on and finally, I headed to JFK Airport, the longest leg of the trip. I actually dreaded that flight as I don't usually find sleep when I'm flying, it has always eluded me. But, I'm happy to say that as the passengers got settled in their assigned seats, I had two empty seats, one on either side of me! That has never happened! The guy across from me had four empty seats in his row and I could tell we were both dreaming of stretching out. I might be able to sleep, I thought!

The guy and I eyed the stragglers who entered the plane minutes before take-off and I was praying that they wouldn't be sitting next to me. At that moment, more than any other time, I wanted that door to close! Close, dammit! Ha ha~! Passengers around me eyed empty seats, wondering how fast they could stand up and claim a seat or two once the doors closed and the pilot asked the flight attendants to take their seats. When we heard the doors close, the guy and I exchanged high five's like we'd just made a slam dunk! Yes! Sleep was possible! He immediately stretched out across the five seats and I gathered the three blankets and pillows, ready for a movie on my choice of three screens! Life is good!

I watched one movie and actually fell asleep during the second film, only to be woken by the flight attendant asking me if I wanted a beverage. Nooooo! I sat up, politely asked for a Bloody Mary, heavy on the vodka, hoping it would lull me back to sleep. Nothing doing. I rewinded the movie (isn't that an awesome feature?!) and watched until the end and then, dinner was served.  And, what a wonderful dinner it was--curried chicken on basmati rice. I was able to catch a few winks and before I knew it, we were landing in JFK. I took the red eye to Washington, DC and boy, were my eyes red!!

British Airways, I love you.

All in all, I had a wonderful time with my friend K in Austria, Romania and Hungary. I miss her already. I had a great flight back to the DC area where my friend D and her boyfriend picked me up at the airport. I spent two relaxing days with them, spoke to my gorgeous children and caught up with the daughter of my oldest and dearest friend N who passed away while I was gone. I missed her by a day and also missed her Muslim funeral on Monday as I was flying home. She will be sorely missed.

My friend N never regained her speech nor mobility after her stroke. I believe I grieved for her during the year she spent in the nursing home or it just hasn't hit me yet. I miss our morning phone calls and I'm reminded of the many trips we took together in my 20's onto my 50's. A long friendship that I will always treasure.

N kept a photo album of all our trips and I asked her daughter if I could possibly have that album. N always managed to get the best photos of our trips and it will give me a lot of comfort. Her daughter graciously said yes and for that I am very thankful.

Rest in eternal peace, N. You will never be forgotten.

Peace and love,
Ellie

Adventure, Writing and Putting Life into Perspective

Greetings from the picturesque Romanian town of Brasov! As many times as my family was stationed in Europe, we never had the opportunity to visit Romania, big mistake! If you're planning a European adventure, please add this beautiful country to your list of must see's. I advise you to fly from Vienna to Bucharest if you're a skittish driver, however...it's a tough route in that you will be following and passing truck after truck on two lane roads! It's 200 km from Bucharest to Brasov which might be for you.

My very good friend and I drove from Vienna, Austria to Gyor, Hungary and spent the night with her gracious American friends who hosted us. The next morning, we rented a car and began our ten hour drive to Brasov, Romania after a stop for breakfast and coffee at the fanciest McCafe I've seen!

The route from Hungary to the Romanian border was along the Autoroute which was pretty uneventful with views of vast farmland and beautiful mountains in the distance. As soon as we crossed the border into Romania, our uneventful drive was no longer. We passed village after village, followed horse-drawn carts and myriad trucks from all over Europe while enjoying the scenery and daily Romanian life  that sped by us. We did stop for photos of Orthodox churches with onion tops and I enjoyed peeking into rural backyards with chickens, little garden plots and lovely ladies sharing conversation with neighbors.

My wonderful friend did a stellar job driving and passed trucks like a champ, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't gripping the door handle every time she passed a truck, a car or a cart with oncoming traffic! By the time we were just outside of Brasov, the largest moon peeked over the snow-covered mountain range and we yelled! We're both moon lovers and it was quite a sight. We stopped the car to take photos and cruised into the center of Brasov after getting lost one time.

Our hotel is in Union Square and the views from this location are wonderful. We had a Romanian dinner of stuffed cabbage, boiled potatoes with sour cream and the hottest pepper ever, washed down with Romanian wine. We slept very well and woke up to a beautiful day. Neither of us had ever been to Romania and we felt blessed to share this experience together.

Yesterday, we had a driver take us to Bran, home of Bran Castle of Dracula fame. Mario, our driver, told us that the vampire shtick is just that - shtick. Vlad the Impaler did live in the castle and he was no Romanian hero. Vlad was into impaling his enemies apparently and Bram Stoker wrote his famous novel, Dracula, from stories told of a woman who was actually a living vampire. The Castle is moody and the views from the top of the castle are unparalleled. My friend and I took 100 photographs each!

We also visited the Rasnov Citadel which was awesome, as well. We had lunch in a spa/hotel up in the mountains where I tried Radler for the first time - beer with lemon. Excellent! My friend fell asleep in the car and I continued to enjoy the views of the countryside, pinching myself that I am really here.

Today we're touring Brasov with its beautiful gothic churches and gorgeous town square. It's another beautiful day with cloudless blue skies and temperatures in the high 70's. Our cameras and iPhones are charged and we're ready.

One sad note, however...the agent with the exclusive read has passed on representing me and A Decent Woman. I received his email yesterday and I was SO bummed. Sigh. He thinks I'm a wonderful writer and wishes me luck, but had to pass. The agent said that midway through the novel, his interest waned. I wondered if the fact that it's a women's fiction/historical novel was the reason. I know the exact moment he's talking about - Serafina's wedding. Hmmm. Well, I was majorly disappointed, but let's be honest (I tell myself), he asked for the complete manuscript which was a coup in and of itself. I was thrilled to have him read and he sent a kind note back instead of a form letter. I've sent my manuscript to female agents and him. I know my story is a woman's story and maybe only women will 'get it'.

I will continue to enjoy beautiful Romania, my friend's company and our drive back to Gyor where we turn in our rental car and head back to Vienna. Hey, how many people can visit Dracula's castle during a full moon?? That's awesome, actually. I will continue pinching myself and will not miss a second of this amazing adventure.

When I get back home, I will pull out my manuscript and read it from beginning to end and see where the momentum is missing the mark.  But, then again...maybe it's fine and dandy as it is. Off to light more candles in more churches for my family, my friend's and my writing future. I will also light a candle for my best friend who is in hospice at this time. I received an email from her daughter two days ago. My friend of nearly 40 years is losing her fight with a stroke she had ten months ago. Now, she's left the nursing home for hospice.

Life is all about perspective for me. I am grieving for my dear friend and praying for her and for her family. I cannot believe that this impromptu trip to Europe comes at the end of her fight and I'm not there. I never dreamed I would be in Europe at her passing and she was stable when I left. I pray that my soul sister hangs on until I return, BUT I want peace for her. She has suffered enough.

Not having a positive reply from the agent isn't suffering. I'm okay and my children are well, thank God. I don't have a thing to complain about. Disappointed, but not suffering.

Peace and love,
Ellie