Friday, November 16, 2012

Am I Finished Yet?

Hi all,

Well, it's official.  I can't eat cheese, bread or rice.  Milk, either.  Actually, I can eat those things, but I suffer the consequences!  I've taken a one week, self-imposed food test this week, eating suspicious food items only to have an upset stomach, cramping and then, some in the evenings and early morning.  I had a bad night last night and am still harboring an upset stomach and a headache this morning.

This week, I tried three small slices of cheese pizza and gave the rest to my neighbor; garlic shrimp with white rice and wonton soup and trotted myself (no pun intended!) to my neighbor's house with the left-overs; and had a bowl of cereal with skim milk last night.  I was uncomfortable hours later.  My neighbor ate well this week!  Half and half with my coffee doesn't seem to bother me as much and I'm NOT giving up my cafe au lait or cream in my tea.  No way.

So.  Today, I go on a liquid fast to detox my body from all that nasty stuff that's making me feel ill and queasy.  I hope it works and maybe I'll lose a few pounds in the process.  That would be nice, too.  My life's run with cheese pizza, white rice and the occasional white bread is over.  I've tried and my body just can't deal with it anymore.

This morning, I've already tackled three more chapters of my manuscript and I'm satisfied with them.  It's amazing how many times I can read a chapter and STILL find things to change and improve upon.  When does it end?  When is a ms truly finished and ready?  Will I know when that times comes?  Or does someone else have to tell me?!

Much like painting, it's tough to know when you're finished.  In painting, there comes a time when I have to give it up and just say, "This is the best I can do" while knowing deep inside that there's always something I can tweak and improve. Drives me nuts.  Maybe it's helpful to have a friend who is brutally honest who can drag us away, saying, "Back away!  It's finished!  Leave it alone!"  Do we trust ourselves or someone else to make that decision for us?

Writing this novel has felt like a pregnancy and I'm in the 8th month now.  I can feel it.  I love this baby, love working with it, enjoy thinking and dreaming about holding that book in my hand...and yet, I'm getting tired of being pregnant :)  My internal feet are swelling, I'm gaining weight (true), I'm bloated, and I have gas!  Ha ha!

I enjoy the winter months for producing work.  It's a nice, quiet, cozy time of year and I predict...that this book will be finished by January 1st.  Yes, I do.  That is my self-imposed deadline and procrastinators like me need deadlines.

And like I experienced after childbirth, I'm sure I'll say, "That wasn't so bad, was it?  I think it's time to start thinking about another baby."  Smile.

So, on we go.

Happy Friday to you!
Peace and love,

Ellie









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