Saturday, June 22, 2013

Will The Real Johnny Depp Please Stand Up!

I started tweeting again last week after a couple of months of silence. I wasn't quiet because I don't enjoy Twitter or because I had nothing to say, I always have plenty to say! It was more like...what's the point? Is tweeting really helping my blog? Well, my stats tell me that it is indeed helping to attract new readers and remind past readers/followers that I'm still alive and kicking.

So this morning, I had a huge shock--Johnny Depp began following me on Twitter. Yes, he did! I just knew that he'd come to his senses about us finally meeting and living happily ever in a French village in the south of France. Isn't that wonderful news?!

You're probably wondering what in the world I'm talking about, right? Well, Johnny Depp began following my tweets. THE Johnny Depp. If you check my Followers on Twitter, you'll see that gorgeous man's photo right there on my list with that cheeky grin, small glasses and goatee. I'm over the moon.

We have a whole lot in common, Johnny and I. We're both in our 50's, we're single and we have two kids, a boy and a girl. We've both lived in France and we love France, pirate movies and Tim Burton. I ask you, what else could be better in a relationship than sharing passions and sharing common interests? It was just meant to be, that's all there is to it.

Of course, I began following Johnny and checked out his profile. Yep, that's him, alright! Johnny had finally found me and I'm sorry Ms. Paradis, he'll be happier with me. Ellie Depp. that has a nice ring to it. Mrs. Eleanor Depp, love it. I'll have to see about monogram towels and sheets. I must call my sister, daughter and friends! They will just burst with happiness for me. I've finally found my love and soul mate.

I'm sure it's just a matter of time for Johnny to email me which of course will lead to a first phone call. I can see us now--phone calls that last long into the night as we get better acquainted. I need to call Verizon to add international calling if he's still in France visiting his kids before he heads to Los Angeles. He's so busy, poor thing.

I want everything to go smoothly as our first meeting will be in a few weeks. I can hardly wait. I'm not sure where we'll meet, but my passport is up-to-date. I will run to him, anywhere he is!

This morning I went back on Twitter to tweet so Johnny can see that I'm available to chat and I typed name in the Search space and lo and behold, there are roughly six other Johnny Depps!! Oh, my goodness. Boy, was I upset and confused! Was this the REAL Johnny Depp or an imposter? Who would play with a fan's heart like that? Simply awful. Who would do that?

Will the real Johnny Depp please stand up??!!

Johnny, I love you today, tomorrow and always. Please come find me. I'm waiting!

Have a great weekend, folks :) Hope I made ya smile this morning!

Peace and loving Johnny,



  1. W-E-L-L! It's no surprise to me that Johnny Depp found you, considering your mysterious "man allure"! I can certainly understand your excitement. He's pretty damned hot, even with flashy jewelry and eyeliner (or maybe ESPECIALLY WITH flashy jewelry and eyeliner!). I hope I'll be invited to the wedding. I get that your mind is just a-whirl with all the possibilities of the situation, but come on, E! You forgot the most important element! DOES HE HAVE AN OLDER BROTHER?????? ROFLMAO!

  2. Yes, I've always had that "man allure" or did you say I'm full of ma-nure?? Johnny can share my jewelry and even my eyeliner any day :)

    Anyway, I was feeling a bit punchy when I wrote this and it was the weekend! I was also wrestling with the idea to quit smoking and I wanted something light and even lite in Ellie's world right about then :) Be well, Linda! Always a trip to hear from you :D xo

  3. johnny Single? Hes dating a 26 years old Blonde...

  4. Hi there Anonymous! Thanks for your comment and your visit. This blog came about because for a nanosecond, I didn't realize that there are about five Johnny Depp accounts on Twitter. I think all of them are fan club-like accounts and if one is ' for real', I don't know which one it is!

    I like to take things to an extreme, sometimes and like I said in my comment, I was feeling punchy :) This blog was written tongue in cheek. Yes, I know he's dating Amber Heard and he has left his 14 year relationship with Vanessa Paradis. I keep in touch with what Johnny's up to :)