Monday, March 4, 2013

Movie Lines, Sayings and the Weather

"We're getting a blizzard this week!" Yeah?

"Better get under cover, Sylvester! There's a storm blowing, a whopper!" Well, I've heard the first line a couple of times this winter and the second line is from The Wizard of Oz. My West Virginia town has yet to see more than two inches of snow this year."Bah, humbug," I say.

I lived to tell the tale of surviving two back to back blizzards three years ago when I lived in the DC area. I lived in Dale City when the monster blizzard of 1978 or '79 (can't remember which) hit. I took this photo from my kitchen window right after the snow plow went through my townhouse development in Falls Church, Virginia. It was freaking awesome that we didn't lose power once and that I lost a dress size from shoveling. I should have gotten brownie points or at least a T-shirt for those two. I lived alone at the time and there were no chivalrous men in my neighborhood, let me tell you.

I've run out to Walmart several times this winter to buy water, wine (hello??), food and candles when the national and local weather people were SURE as shinola that we were going to get pounded with over a foot of snow only to wake up to a measly flurry. The boy aka the weather people, have cried wolf too many times before for my region of West Virginia and I'm not budging this time. "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not taking this anymore!" Ha! 

Maybe we'll get a foot of snow on Wednesday now that I'm doing nothing to prepare and that would be okay with me - I love snow. But, then I want it to melt and not reappear until next winter. "Go big or go home!"

Even the poor daffodils and robins are confused! On Saturday, I walked home from the library and saw several groupings of daffodils with five inches of growth. On Sunday, I would swear on a stack of Bibles that I saw a robin in the tree in my yard!

**This blog post was inspired by my search for cliches, adverbs and all-around dumb dialogue that I've written for my characters Ana and Serafina from my novel, A Decent Woman. The adverbs were easy to find and delete and honestly, some just fit, so I left them in.**

The false starts and surprises of winter in Berkeley County, West Virginia. You just can't predict diddly squat in my area these days. My neighbors, born and raised in this town, tell me that we're due a storm of epic proportions, historic even. "We're gonna get hammered, just you wait and see!" This happens every year and they tell me that March is that cooky month to watch. "Show me the money!" Wild and Wonderful West Virginia, eh? Okay, show me some extreme weather because in the two winters I've spent here, I haven't seen a thing. Nada. Puny snowfalls and a whole of ice last year.

My daughter texted me this morning to tell me that Northern Virginia is expecting 5-8" of snow and the weather pundits are predicting 8-12" for me. I honestly hadn't known and haven't turned on the weather channel this morning. I thanked my daughter and then, texted both my kids to tell them to be safe! Is this true? "Please, sir. I want some more." Well, we sure can count on global warning...this I believe to be true. Global warning isn't a myth, but that's for another blog post.

The weather isn't as predictable as it once was. Or was it predictable, at all?  Maybe I've gone all batty, but I want things to happen when they're supposed to. It snows in winter, the daffodils come up in March and I can safely wear white on Easter Sunday with bare legs. Not so, brothers and sisters. The only things I can count on never to be late are the bills and taxes; they're never late. Okay, and death. But, I'm living until I'm way past 100. The psychic told me so, but I may delete this line because I'm very superstitious...

I find it interesting that although I want certain things to be predictable and on-time, I'm also a person who doesn't enjoy routine and predictability. I never have. I don't make appointments to get my hair done, I prefer walk-in salons. I'm forever running after the trash truck and I'm not great about paying my bills on time. I detest making appointments and have been known to cancel at the last minute because I'm experiencing a fabulous writing streak.

I want things my way or the highway, thank you very much. Is that too much to ask?

Peace and love,

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