Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Why I'm Wearing Tight Shorts Today

According to the Internet, the first day of Spring will be at exactly 7:02 a.m. on March 20, 2013. If you're like me and you live on the east coast, you'll be smiling and wearing shorts. It might not be warm enough for shorts that day, but I'll be wearing them because it's the principle of the thing!

I'm more than ready for Spring on the east coast. To say that I have cabin fever today would be putting it mildly. I'm tired of sitting at home and I need some fresh air, but that means I have to bundle up and I'm sick of that! I'm wearing tight cotton shorts on this sunny, blustery, cold morning for these reasons:

1. Today is laundry day. My jeans and sweatpants are in the washing machine and I canNOT find my loose shorts with the elastic waistband.

2. I'm pretending it's warmer. I'm trying to forget that I had to put the heat on last night. How disappointing was that! I might even have to raise the temperature today; it's way cold and windy out there.

3.  I've gained weight and need to lose weight. Since I decided to write full time, I've clocked in a zillion hours sitting on my arse. Wearing tight shorts creates a really nice muffin top, reminding me of why I'm eating right these days and why I have to delete the pizza parlor's phone number from my cell phone. Yes, I'm weak.

4. Spring break. I'll be flying to Florida with my sister to visit our father this spring which means we'll probably be on the beach which requires a bathing suit which is a horrible thought right about now. Time to exercise and delete the pizza parlor's phone number on my cell phone once and for all.

Right. It really is time to lose the weight I've gained by writing and editing my first novel. I won't even talk about how white my legs are. There are spray tanners for that, but no sprays for weight reduction. Yet.

No one told me that I'd gain weight writing my first novel, but it's true. I've loved the writing, the research, and the process. I love my novel and how it's turned out, but I'm not loving that I can hardly breathe in these damn shorts! No one told me that I'd gain weight by writing my first novel. I truly must be nuts because I've already begun writing my second novel.  Oy vey...I see a muu muu in my future.

Happy Wednesday to you :)

Peace and love,

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