Boy, do we play mind games with ourselves when we're in the creative seat. I sure do, anyway. I tend to teeter between writing my head off and being blocked a couple of times a month. Excuses, excuses, I know. Normally, I can work through most things, but my Inner Child is alive and well this week.
I'm looking for any excuse not to sit my butt down and write today. Are you like me? Is it all or nothing for you? I get in those moods. It's either write for nine or ten hours a day or nothing at all. If anything on my to-do list crosses my mind, it can break the creative cycle. As it has today.
I love and hate lists. Mine never seem to end in this old house. There's always something to do and I have to remind myself that I do it alone. I give myself a break because I just can't do it all. I realize those are excuses, too. But, how realistic are they? They have to get done, right?
I have to clean. I have to put the Fall wreath on my front door. I have to throw out clothes. I have to find the perfect winter walking outfit. I have to walk Ozzy more before it snows and we have icy sidewalks. I have to lose weight before winter sets in. I have to do a deep cleaning before the days get shorter. I have to and I must organize my documents. NOT.
There it is. That word. Organize. I really hate it or is the word documents that I hate? Both cause me to scrunch up my nose and go clean my toilet.
Here's the weird thing--my house is organized. Okay, that's taking it to the extreme. The lower level of my house is organized-ish. If you come to my house, you'd see a nice living, a very nice dining room, a cute kitchen, clutter-free steps and semi-clean windows. As clean as 107-year old windows can be. My bedroom is pretty and the bathroom is adorable.
This is me trying to pat myself on the back for things that I have done! But, the list continues...
Other things on my mind this morning and I'd better get them down because they're driving me bonkers already:
I need to color my hair before the Holidays. There it is. That word. Holidays. Sheesh. I stayed home all weekend and wrote like a fiend and was SO happy. And then, I saw a holiday commercial, complete with Christmas music. What?
A friend told me how many Saturdays we have until Christmas...are you kidding me? Well, that just made me come to a screeching halt! Immediately, I had this sense of urgency and anxiety started creeping in. I could feel it. And, just as I was at 3,000 plus words on novel #2!
What else do I need to do before I can sit and write without interruptions, distractions, and delays? I need to wait until January 2014. Could that be true? The same thing happens to me in the Spring time when the plants are peeking through in my garden and I am dying to get my hands dirty.
What's the solution?!
Just write through it ALL. Steal an hour or two to write and don't give in to the censors in your head. I'm telling myself that, by the way. Just write when you can and don't stress yourself out.
Okay, I feel better now. My Inner Child is happy again. I don't have to pull my hair out and stress my hair, the holidays, my house, my documents and my semi-organized house that could look better.
All I have to do is show up when I can and write. So simple. It's ME who was complicating it all.