You Bet Your Sweet Ass I Am!

This morning, I wrote my "Conversation with God" blog post and when I reread it, I decided to delete it. You, my beautiful reader, were invited to insert God, Allah, the Universe, or Mother Earth, anything that resonates with you, into the blank space...or not.

I found the writing very cathartic and I meant to share the blog post with you, but I was afraid I would come across as whiny and ungrateful. I am not that person, however, it felt great to vent and question God and the Universe as to why my dream has yet to manifest itself when to the best of my knowledge, I'm doing all I can to see my novel, A Decent Woman, published.

My blog was a blog that many writers and authors could relate to--the frustrations of the world of publishing in 2013. 

From the many blogs I read every day written by writers, authors, agents, editors, and publishers, I've come away with:

Most editors, agents and publishers feel badly about publishing today and wish they could help more writers become published authors.

The business is what it has morphed into--a fast-paced, ever-changing and Internet- complicated business.

Historical fiction novels are difficult to sell (which surprises me as that's what I love to read!)

More than ever before, the writer is responsible for building a platform, branding, marketing and more marketing.

Most major publishing houses still frown upon self-published books.

Some agents will not represent you if you are not already a published author, but...if you self-publish, this doesn't seem to count for much. Self-publishing seems to be viewed as the poor relation to its traditional publishing sibling.

It seems that writers are damned if they do and damned if they don't. Very frustrating. So, since I like to see the big picture in most situations in my life, I've decided to take a good look at self-publishing. I'm going to research this avenue because I feel it's a smart move and a timely decision. I'm not getting any younger at 56 and I have all my brain cells at this moment in time...okay, most of my brain cells.

So, this afternoon, I opened myself up to the Universe's wisdom and listened for answers. I deleted my blog and then, sat on my yoga pillow and just sat.and.sat.and.sat.

I'm toying with the idea of incorporating my second novel, Finding Gracia into my first novel, A Decent Woman. My novel will remain an historical fiction novel set in the early 1900s in Ponce, Puerto Rico with the characters Ana and Serafina and alternate chapters will be written in the present. The present day protagonist will be Serafina's granddaughter, Gracia, who has traveled to Puerto Rico for the reading of her grandmother's will after her divorce in the United States.

Gracia discovers that she is the sole heir to her grandparent's coffee farm in the mountains of Puerto Rico and after moving to the farm, she finds her grandmother Serafina's photo albums and documents. These papers and photographs introduce Ana, the Afro-Cuban midwife, who was the attending midwife at Gracia's grandmother and mother's births.

From the grave, Dona Ana and Serafina help Gracia navigate her new life by sharing Puerto Rican history and folklore, traditional healing methods, and their views on spirituality and religion. Gracia will come full circle as she returns to her Puerto Rican roots and becomes the woman she was meant to be.

Worth a try. Then again, both novels could remain stand-alone novels, as well.  Hmmmm. Nice to have options, right?

Do you think I'm talking myself into a positive state of mind in this blog post? You bet your sweet ass I am!

Ellie xoxo

What Publishing and Sharks Have in Common

This morning I'm thinking of the 12 people who went to work at Building 197 in Washington, DC's Navy yard yesterday morning who will never return to their families and loved ones. Events and tragedies such as this one boggle the mind. We just never know when it's our turn. Even with a strong faith, we have a hard time understanding it all, especially when children are involved. I have a hard time with that.

We're left with many questions. Was this merely their time? Did any of those who perished have a feeling that they should have called in sick that morning? Is there a rhyme or reason to life? Why do good people die and why do others escape within an inch of their life? How does it feel to be next to someone who loses his or her life and you escape? I don't know the answers.

While taking a break from swimming in the waters of Cape Hatteras two weeks ago, I watched a black Lab try very hard not to follow his master into the surf. He or she had a hard time remaining in a sitting position, but ultimately obeyed his master who repeatedly told him to sit and stay. The Lab continued to wiggle his bottom and wag his tail in anticipation for the call from his master that never came, so he remained on the shore. When I caught this shot, the Lab raised a paw as if he were begging to join his master. I could feel his nervousness and see his jittery actions from where I was sitting in my comfy beach chair with a cold Dos XX beer.

Minutes later, a few yards away, a surf fisherman caught a Black Tip shark in three feet of water. I knew he was reeling in something large and 15 minutes later, I saw the shark's fin. Holy shnikies. I shuddered to think what could happened to the dog's master or the dog had he gone into the water. My friends, their children and I swam in that very spot earlier in that morning. Wow. I didn't want to think about that, either. Needless to say, everyone on the beach remained close to shore or swam in the tide pool that afternoon with no life guard present.

Life. We just never know what's coming down the road for us, sometimes at warp speed. Did the dog know the shark was out there? Did he want to protect and warn his master? Who knows.

Ever since the release of the movie, Jaws and watching Shark Week religiously for years, I've remained in waist high water and very vigilant in the ocean. Murky waters and I don't go in. But, I remember that it bugged me that I couldn't force myself to go in deeper that morning. The waters were crystalline blue and I was excited to ride the high waves with my friend's children on their boogie boards. And then, voila. There was my worst fear realized--a damn shark.

I felt conflicted as the shark was reeled in and flopped around on the shore. My emotions went in so many directions. I love nature, animals and here was this majestic shark with a huge hook in its mouth. I fidgeted on the beach and called out to hurry up and remove the hook. I wanted the fisherman to lead the shark back into the water as soon as humanly possible which he did. I didn't want the shark to die and yet, I wanted that shark out of the water because I wanted to swim and ride the waves and for people to be safe!

I ended up going back into the ocean the next day with a fishing rod and blood worms as bait (should have used squid or shrimp). I surf fished for the first time in waist-high water. I loved it. I was taking a risk, but that's what I had to do. I had to get back into the water, but I wanted to be distracted by fishing which I love. I don't get it either, so don't worry if you're not following my thought processes. We're all more complicated that we realize! It was the only way I could return to the ocean.

Since this is a blog about the writing life and I'm a writer, of course, my thoughts go to my novel, A Decent Woman. I dove into clear waters by writing my book in 2006 and wasn't worried about the future. I had no clue about the writing business or how difficult it would be to see my novel in print. I had to leave my manuscript a year later when my marriage fell apart and I left Europe where I'd lived for 13 years. The waters quickly became murky and I didn't touch my novel for four years while I worked full time, saw my kids through university, and went back to school. I jumped back into the writing waters in 2010 and with editing and querying agents, have swum against heavy currents since then with the publishing business as it is today. Some days, the waters are crystal clear for me and others are murky as hell when I want to chuck it all and self-publish.

Would I have started writing my novel if I'd known how frustrating and 'dangerous' to my emotions and mindset writing and the publishing world can be when you're trying to sell your book? Yes. I love the ocean and writing and yes, I have a fear of sharks and never seeing my book in print. What can you do, but protect yourself as much as possible and continue living and writing which I intend to do.

I've just had to develop thicker skin and remain committed to my novel-length manuscript and second novel which I'm presently writing. Don't wait to write if you feel that urge. Just do it. Jump in and swim.

Ellie

Early Readers of Our Finished Manuscripts

My novel-length, historical fiction manuscript, A Decent Woman, is in the hands of a publishing company that has a team of early readers who will give early feedback as to whether or not they believe my book should be published. If it's a green light from the early readers, then a creative team of editors, managers, marketing pros, and book cover artists will sit around discussing the pros and cons of publishing my book. I'm excited, fearful and very curious to receive their feedback. I wonder how much feedback I'll receive if any at all?

So far, my editor and several friends have read my novel and I've read it more times than you can shake a stick at it. I still love my story, but of course, I'm biased. What will this group of early readers think? Will they like and relate to my characters Ana and Serafina? When I read a book, I must feel a connection to the characters for me to remain engaged. Have I accomplished that with my novel?

I probably won't have the opportunity to answer the early reader's questions (if they come up) or clarify any confusion they encounter as they read. My novel must stand on its own two feet, so to speak. It's a done deal. It doesn't matter who I am, what my credentials are or what life's experiences I've had--my book now speaks for me and represents me. There's no time to revise or change anything at this point with this company. Have I done enough?

I'm glad that I'll be on vacation for a week in August and I look forward to Labor Day weekend with my children. I can't imagine sitting in front of my laptop, waiting for an email reply. Of course, my iPhone will be with me, so I'll be able to check my emails several times a day! I hope I don't do that though. My friends have promised a fun-filled, busy vacation with BBQs, pool parties, and sailing regattas. I can't wait to spend time with my friends. We haven't seen each other in 11 years and we have much to catch up on.

I'll be meeting new people from all walks of life during my time away which is exciting. As always, I will people watch, participate in new conversations, and share new activities. I'll tuck away figures of speech, stories, observe body language and like a kid, I'll absorb it all like a sponge. I will have new eyes on my trips and I'm always open for a new adventure. This is where stories are born--in the listening, experiencing and in the quiet watching. And no, that's not stalking!

I'll pack the laptop, one camera, a new notebook and several pens and will continue to blog while I'm away. My camera will be close by and my thoughts won't be too far away from the early readers who have my manuscript in their hands. If I am near a church, I'll light a candle or ten for a positive response from the early readers and the publishing company. I'll also light a candle for patience and serenity for myself :)

Happy Tuesday to you.

Peace and love,
Ellie

The Village Approach

Good morning! 

The temperature outside already feels like the high 80's and the air conditioner is working hard. I feel an inside day is called for and I have plenty of work to do. The grass could use some cutting and I could weed the garden, but I'm ignoring my garden today. I have to get cracking!

List of things to do today:

Whittle my nine page synopsis to six or seven pages. This is no easy feat for a talker and a writer! Send said synopsis to an author friend for her advice and comments when I'm done.

Call an old friend to help me create my website. We've reconnected on Facebook after 17 years and lo and behold, she's a web master!

Review my query letter and send it out to small presses and agents, specifically to one agent who an author friend has highly recommended.

Sometimes it takes a village, folks! I'm so very thankful for my friends and their support, encouragement and love.

This is plenty for today, don't you think?

I have renewed faith, confidence and excitement this morning. Sometimes, you also need an old fashioned mini rant to get the blood pumping :)

Have a super weekend, everyone. Stay cool!

Peace and love,
Ellie

She Stood in the Storm...

She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way,

she adjusted her sail.

-Elizabeth Edwards

I remembered this quote after I wrote yesterday's blog post. I'd reread my words and realized that it was time to adjust my sail. I was already tired of feeling like the kid standing in front of a carousel, wanting to get on, but who can only watch the painted horses go round and round. I'd symbolically licked my index finger and put it up, searching for a breeze and yesterday, I didn't find a breeze. I don't do whiny and victim well, so writing out my feelings really helped me.

I decided that I would adjust my sail and find that damn breeze because I know it's out there. There's plenty of breeze to go around, I just have to find it and keep adjusting accordingly.

When I began my first novel, I was the kid who sits on a large piece of cardboard, giddy and eager to go down the snowy hill that glistens in front of her. The anticipation and adrenaline of seeing my novel published and read by family, friends and strangers really kept me going. I didn't know diddly squat about the publishing business, but I had high hope that my story was fresh and unique enough for publication and representation. The momentum was great.

But sometimes, we hit a patch of ice that derails us or we hit a patch where the snow has melted and the grass is growing, forcing our piece of cardboard to come to a dead halt. We keep scooting forward, hoping to find that momentum again and sometimes, we just don't find it. I'm not sure if my piece of cardboard came to a dead stop yesterday OR maybe I stopped it. Yesterday, I was frustrated and overwhelmed. I got tired of the false starts,  rejection and seemingly, dead ends with my novel.

In 2006, I went through a marital separation, a trans-Atlantic move with my kids back to the US, and I divorced. I'd turned 50 and worked full-time while going back to school part-time. I'm no quitter. I've come through adversity and challenges with flying colors (to me) and I don't shy away from the road less traveled. I finish what I start.

This sounds like a pep talk, doesn't it? Well, sometimes you have to talk yourself into believing that you can do it. Fake it until you make it, they say. But, I'm not faking it--I'm doing it. I do, however, have to remind myself that I'm tough, tenacious, and that I've accomplished great things in my life. I've lived an interesting life here and abroad and I still have visions of adventures, living overseas, traveling, sharing in my kid's happy moments, and of holding my future grandchildren. There's a lot left to experience and I'm excited for the future with my children and my future as a writer and published novelist.

The writer's life isn't an easy road to navigate and the publishing world is even tougher. It's a lonely life at times, but I love it. I moved to WV to be able to write full-time and I've done just that. I received lovely comments and emails after I posted yesterday's blog post and I say THANK YOU. Two friends, both published authors, came forward to give me encouragement, support and virtual hugs. I needed them!

I went out with a good friend last night who has come through difficulties and adversity in her personal and professional life. She called out of the blue and didn't take no for an answer when she suggested we go out. I tried to beg off, saying my hair didn't look great and that my jeans were dirty (true), but she ignored me. "Be ready in 10 minutes, I've already left the house," she said.  Okay, then! In that situation, I faked it until I made it. I really didn't want to go out.

During our catching up, I realized that my friend had needed the night out as much as I had. We kept thanking each other for the fun evening and vowed not to allow ourselves to get bogged down with the small stuff. And, that we have to get out every now and then!

This morning, I realized that I'd brought down my sail yesterday. I'd folded it carefully and put it away. Self-preservation? Perhaps it was. But, I've decided to unfold and raise that sail again today. I'm adjusting my sails toward small presses for my novel. I'm pleased that many big name agents have asked to see sample chapters of my novel. That shows me that I'm on the right path. I just have to keep adjusting my sails until I hit my stride by rewriting and making my novel the best it can be.

Good luck to all the writers out there! Hang in there, I know it's tough and you're not alone. Praying for smooth seas and lots of wind for us! I have renewed faith today. It's fragile, but it's there.

Thanks again to the writers who came forward yesterday, fanning my sails for me when I just couldn't catch a damn breeze :)

Peace and love to you,
Ellie

Yes, Patsy. I Must Be Crazy.

I'm tired. It's not even 9 o'clock in the morning and I already feel the need for a nap. My body isn't tired, but my mind is saturated with information gleaned from reading too many blog posts by agents, writers, and authors. I can't take anymore in.

This morning, I feel like the little mouse in the book, "Who Moved My Cheese?" My gut tells me that it's time to jump onto the self-publishing wagon, but my brain is telling me, "Wait. Just be patient. Do the work and then, think about all that." But then again, if I self-publish now, I could add that I have a published book in future query letters when I finished my second novel which is going quite well.

Is it time to move forward with an ebook or hang back, watching from the sidelines??? 
Am I going to miss the boat altogether by sticking to my novel and initial plan?
Do I have time to wait several more months to requery (is that a word?) and wait, wait and wait some more? 
What to do?

I'm tired. My brain is tired and I need another cup of tea. I'm not tired of my novel, not by a long shot, but I AM tired of thinking about querying agents, researching Amazon's Kindle Direct Publishing and tired of thinking and reading about the publishing world as a whole. My mind just can't take in any more information! Done. I need someone to help me navigate this world of self-publishing. Yes, I do!

HOW can one writer do it all? How can a writer with a limited income (like me) hire a publicist, another editor and a company to help navigate the self-publishing world? I can't and according to the experts in those fields, I need one of each BEFORE my manuscript is online. Sheesh.

I just want to write. That's it. I want to write interesting, thought-provoking and fabulous novels, one after another, and have readers love my work. Is that nuts?

Why do I write? I write because I'm compelled to and can't seem to stop. I also write because I want readers to perhaps learn something, live in the world I create, and love the characters I love. Is that too much to ask? I love writing.

I miss simpler days when a writer wrote a novel and got published. Maybe it wasn't that easy, but if you managed to write and sell a novel, the publishing houses did it all for them. The author was simply charged with writing and handing in a manuscript that had been well edited. Not today. Okay, I'm whining now.

It's one crazy world, the world of the writer. I feel like a kid standing in front of a spinning carousel, waiting for a break in the momentum to hop on and enjoy the ride that I know will be awesome. I just need one agent. One agent who believes in me and my books.

Could someone slow down the world, please? I feel that if I don't hop onto the damn self-publishing carousel soon, it will all change by the time I'm ready! I worry that it won't be free, it will no longer be easy to self-publish, and everyone will be on the carousel but me. If I wait any longer, I might not have a spot and I won't get the carousel horse of my choice.

I don't know any more, but I'm glad I can write this out and sorry you have to witness this whiny blog post. Sigh, off to write now.

Is that Patsy Cline I hear singing? I hear the song "Crazy" playing somewhere on my street. Yes Patsy, I must be crazy to write, but I love it.

Peace and love,
Ellie

Patience, Prayer and Being Proactive in Publishing

So, my horoscope for May says that this is the best month of the year for Virgo which would be me. Apparently, my houses of fame and recognition are highlighted this month, specifically in the fields of writing and publishing. Woot! Well, that is IF you believe in horoscopes, astrology, the planets and stars aligning for our highest good. I'm a middle of the road believer in astrology, but of course, I'm rooting for the planets this month. Yes, to writing recognition and a publishing contract! I'm in!

This morning, a friend posted a quote on Facebook which I can't remember verbatim, but it basically says that good things come to those who wait. Hmmm. I believe in patience and praying. I do. Lord knows, writers need and require tons and tons of patience and prayers. I pray, but I also believe that God gave me a brain. As in, I can't just sit here and wait for something to happen for me--I have to be proactive. For that publishing contract to happen, I have to query, query and keep querying agents.

It's like the joke about the guy who is sitting on the roof of his house in a flood. He's calling to God, pleading for Him to help him escape and survive the flood. A guy in a row boat approaches the house and encourages the man to jump into his boat, but he says, "No, I'm afraid I'll fall into the water and drown! Go on and save yourself! God will save me!" The man in the row boat can't convince the man. He shrugs and rows away.

In a few minutes, a helicopter flies by and spots the man on the roof. The pilot circles back, throws down a ladder and yells for the man to grab a hold and he'll fly him to safety. But, the man yells back that he's frozen in fear and is afraid that he'll grab for the ladder, miss it and be thrown into the flood. The helicopter flies away.

The man calls out to God, again pleading for Him to save him. God answers, "Boy, I've sent you a boat and I've sent you a helicopter, what are you doing to save yourself?! Use your brain, man!"

So, I'm a bit superstitious and IF I get an agent and a publishing contract this month, I will always and forever believe in astrology!! But to be on the safe and sane side, I'll keep praying, working on my novel-length manuscript, A Decent Woman, and I'll keep querying agents :)

Happy Friday to you!

Peace and love,
Ellie

Planes, Trains, Metro and Automobiles

No, I'm not dreaming of a white Christmas nor is it anywhere near December. My sister posted this photograph of us on her Facebook page and I nabbed it. As with old family albums and lack of know-how, my sister and I share the albums which means she has many photographs that I don't have and vice versa. I don't have a scanner at the moment and would love to purchase one so that we each have a complete family album.

Photographs. Many people complain about Facebook and many have decided to jump ship through the years for various reasons, but I have to say that enjoy it. Many days, I have to force myself NOT to check FB. It can get addicting. I have friends in many corners of the world and this is how I keep in touch with them. I keep up with my kid's and family's news, chronicled with photographs. If I lose my camera or my iPhone, well my photos are relatively safe on FB. If I drop my laptop and shatter my hard drive (which I've done) and lost it all, my photos are safe on FB.

Social media. Author platform. Many have a love-hate relationship with social media and authors...well, get used to it. It's now part of the author/publishing/marketing experience. There's no escaping Facebook, Twitter, writing a blog, reviewing other authors, and writing essays in magazines and ezines, it is what it is. Much as I dislike tooting my own horn ad nauseum (that's what it seems like to me), I know that I have to keep up-to-date and active on these accounts. I must put myself  'out there' for my novel's sake and for the sake of adding numbers to sales once I'm published. Yes, I'm taking the positive route here.

On being published. Well, that seems a long way off on this chilly Spring morning in Northern Virginia. I spent three wonderful weeks in Europe with my friend and her family, flew back to the US a week ago and four of those days were spent in Northern Virginia with my super kids, family and friends for my nephew's graduation, a cemetery visit with my friend N and for Mother's Day which was amazing! Tonight I head to my friend's N's daughter's house. I haven't seen her since her Mom passed away. Should be an emotional evening and I'm happy to be with her and her children for one night. Then, I head home tomorrow afternoon.

NO complaints. But...I'm ready to get home. I want to fully unpack, wash my clothes and wake up in my own bed, make coffee in my coffee press, fire up my laptop, kiss my furry children, check and enjoy my garden, and return to my normal routine. I'm excited for my writing routine to commence as well after nearly four weeks away from my novel-length manuscript, A Decent Woman. It's time to put the pedal to the metal as they say. I have some work ahead of me before I can resubmit my manuscript to the NY agent.

Precious moments. Although I'm a bit weary, I wouldn't change a thing about the experiences I've had this past April and May. I never dreamed I'd return to Europe. I ran for domestic and international flights, found the Viennese house I shared with my ex-husband and two beautiful children 25 years ago, I walked through Austrian vineyards, up cobblestone streets and snuck under a fence to reach a heuriger for a icy cold Radler beer with my friend K. I marveled at Gothic and Baroque architecture in Vienna, onion-topped Orthodox churches in Romania and was introduced to Gyor, a Hungarian city I'd never been to. I rode an elevator up to the top floor of Stephansdom to view the frescoes, visited nearly every church and palace in Vienna, and witnessed an awesome lunar eclipse as the full moon rose over the Carpathian Mountains as my friend K and I approached Brasov, Romania. I shared my nephew's happy graduation and had the most beautiful Mother's Day with my children. I visited with my departed friend N at her grave site. I will miss her.

Tomorrow afternoon, I'll be on the train home.

All blessings, every single one. Special memories.

Peace and love,
Ellie

All Together Now!

I took this photo with my iPhone shortly after take off as we flew along the coast of Florida on my way to Washington, DC. I am amazed at these phones and how clear the photographs are. Gotta love modern technology! 

I'm a nervous Nellie when it comes to flying. I've always been like that and I've flown all my life as an Army brat and former Army wife. You'd think I would get used to it, right?  Not. You will find me sitting with my seat upright, tray table up, my cell phone on airplane mode, eyes shut, and I'll be the woman holding the arms of her seat with a death grip. I just never have gotten used to not being in control of my life. I don't enjoy giving my life to another person aka the pilot(s) for any amount of time. Hey, what if his wife just left him or his favorite dog passed away? What if she's decided to quit flying after this flight because she'd rather continue being a barfly? Then, what? Where would we be?? In the Atlantic Ocean if it happened on my flight.

When I board any plane, I always check over the pilot(s). I check for bloodshot eyes, shaky hands, and black circles under the eyes. I do! I could lie to your face here and now and say that I don't, but I damn well do :) As I walk down the aisles, hoping my carry-on doesn't bump someone's arm or head, I'm checking out all the passengers for terrorist(s). Who looks nervous, has shifty eyes and I even check out the grandma's because no one would suspect them. The perfect cover. When I take my seat, I look around for anyone who looks ill or ready to croak. I wonder if it's their last day on earth and we're all going down with him or her. Is it you or you, I wonder as I look over the passengers near my seat.

Yes, I'm a mess when I fly. The photo I took out of the window was taken when we were at cruising altitude, I think it was 32,000 feet and the seat belt sign was turned off. It is then that I can relax and stop reciting Mother Theresa's novena and put away my rosary beads. I've already prayed for my children, my family and friends and I've promised God that I will improve on those things that I don't do well at. Yes, I bargain with God, but He knows me well :)

I don't like not being in control of my life. I just don't. Last year, I flew five times and this year, I've already flown twice. I do it, but I don't like it. I hate connecting flights and will pay for a non-stop flight any time I can.  Much like trying to find an agent or a publisher for my novel, I send out query after query, but I don't like it. I understand that's how it's done these days, but I don't have to like it. My publishing life is in the hands of so many other people and I'm not in control. I find that very annoying when I'm ready now! I've already begun writing novel #2 which I'm enjoying, but I sure would love to see novel #1 published before I finish.

On the flight home from FL, my sister and I were going home after visiting our father and his wife. I sat in the middle seat, my sister had the aisle seat and a lovely young woman sat by the window. When the turbulence hit (damn!), my sister and I linked arms. I chided myself for not drawing up a damn will before I left home! The young woman leaned forward and smiled at us and said, "I'm a nervous flyer, too." So, I did what any compassionate, scared out of my wits woman and mother would do - I took the young woman's arm and we linked arms. I didn't even ask her if she wanted to link arms! I just took her arm and we stayed just like that for about five minutes until the turbulence subsided. My sister screamed at one point during the rollercoaster ride through turbulence which surprised me and I could do nothing but laugh at her! I didn't know she was a nervous flyer, too! It made the moment lighter, but I did have to laugh at her. I didn't scream! I don't know who needed the hand holding more on that flight?

The young woman thanked me when we landed :) When I land an agent or a publisher, I'll thank them, too. It's nice to have someone in your corner, ready to hold your hand through the publishing process. Not that I need major hand holding, but it's a new business to me. It would be nice to have a champion on my side as the writer's life can be lonely and unforgiving and yes, at times, downright scary.

I've decided. I'm taking the Amtrak trains to any future book signings.

Peace and love to you,

Ellie

Heaps and Loads of Patience...

I woke up to a couple of inches of snow this morning...no, no, no. That wasn't supposed to happen! The primroses and daffodils are blooming and I'm in the throes of a major Spring cleaning, enjoyed airing out the house on a few warmer days and now snow? Major disappointment! 

This disappointment feels like my disappointment in not hearing back from the agent with the exclusive read of my sample chapters. I want to hear yesterday...and like winter it's taking more patience than I think I'm capable of mustering. I'm hanging in there, but it's tough. God gave out heaps and loads of patience on the day I was absent.

I don't know where I'm going to find more patience to wait for Spring AND an agent. I know agents are busy, I really do, but it doesn't make it easier to wait. I know and understand the writing business, but that doesn't mean I have to like it :)

I'd dared to dream of wearing shorts and a T-shirt which led me to trudging upstairs with my bulky winter coats last week, only to throw down my puffy vest this morning. I'd lowered the temperature in my house and shut off the ceramic heater in my bedroom a few nights ago only to turn the heater on high last night! Argh!

I've dared to visualize my book cover, I dream of crazy book sales, and great reviews, only to have to keep waiting patiently for the first step - finding an agent. I've begun writing my second book and I'm loving the research and writing only to find a typo on page 257 in my first manuscript! Argh! The discovery gripped my throat and now, I'm worried that there are more typos. Thoughts of what else I've missed plague me. Time to enlist the help of the lovely ladies at my local library who've offered to read my novel and hell...I'm also thinking about Kindle Publishing. Hey, I have to have Plan B, don't I?

So, Plan B for my first book is in place. I'm going to investigate Kindle Publishing. An ebook might be interesting as that's exactly how I buy my books these days. My Plan B for waiting for Spring to arrive is a trip to Florida. In a couple of weeks, I'll be flying to FL with my sister and we'll be visiting our father and his wife who might be recovering from surgery this week. I canNOT wait to feel the sun on my face and dip my feet in the ocean.

I'm going to keep writing my second book which I'm loving already. I'm writing it in first person POV which I've wanted to do for a long time. It's liberating and my writing is flowing. I'm happiest when I'm writing and I have a strange peace, but I'm having to force a huge smile this morning :/

Fake it until you make it! That's my mantra this morning.

Peace and love,
Ellie