What Would Dona Ana Say?

Years after writing my first novel-length manuscript, A Decent Woman, I'm still in love with my Afro-Cuban protagonist Ana. I've often joked that she is who I'd like to be when I grow up and I wish I'd met the midwife who helped birth my mother, two maternal aunts and my uncle. Dona Ana was my grandmother's comadre, her midwife.

There are no known photographs of Ana in my family photo albums, but from my grandmother's descriptions, I could see her clearly in my mind's eye--ebony skin, white turban, gold argollas (hoop earrings), and long, flowery skirts.  The stories I heard grandmother, my mother, Mercedes, and my Aunt Elena tell about this quiet heroine always stayed in my mind and heart. Ana was the perfect character for my novel, a composite of my grandmother, my mother and of course, little bits of myself.

If I were to describe my character Ana from the stories I heard, I'd describe her as a courageous, tough-as-nails woman with a heart of gold and a great sense of humor. A quiet champion for the rights of women and children, a pillar of her small community, the Playa de Ponce, a port town in the southwest coast of Puerto Rico. In my writerly mind, Ana was this woman, however, she had to harbor a secret or two and face a few challenges which are the reasons she fled from Cuba to Puerto Rico on a cargo ship in the early mornings hours. I added another secret in Ana's life that comes into play after she befriends and tries to protect two prostitutes from their pimp and a local Ponce policeman.

With the research I uncovered for my novel, it was easy to imagine Dona Ana as a spiritual woman who straddled two worlds--the world of an African slave who practiced the Yoruba religion brought by her parents from Nigeria to Cuba and Catholicism, the religion she was taught by the priests who took her in when she lands on the shores of Puerto Rico, la Isla del Encanto, the Isle of Enchantment.

If I had to describe Dona Ana in one word...I'd choose integrity. Throughout my novel, Dona Ana shows true courage and nerves of steel, with periods of self-doubt, fear and low self-esteem, mostly because of her slavery past and the treatment of workingwomen of color and mixed race in Puerto Rico in the early 1900's. After all, Ana was a woman of flesh and blood. Then and now, it isn't a stretch to relate to Ana.

If Dona Ana were alive today, I would sit at her feet as I did with my grandmother, Meme, when I was a child. I'd absorb and digest every story and her stories would never got old. My grandmother and mother were great storytellers. During every summer and holiday vacation to visit my family in Puerto Rico, we'd ask Meme to tell us about the old days and she never disappointed us. With a glint in her eye and a big smile, she'd begin and we were her rapt audience for hours, listening to vivid tales of Puerto Rico in the old days, and her cast of characters which often included Dona Ana.

I was especially interested in the birthing practices on the island in those days, more so when I was pregnant with my two children. I was fortunate and blessed to have Meme and my mother with me when I gave birth to my children. It now seems as if I was pregnant with Ana's story since I was a young woman and now, as a 56-year woman, it's time to birth this baby.

I've often said that I channeled Dona Ana as I wrote the first draft of A Decent Woman. I could see my characters and hear their voices in my mind's eye. I wonder what Dona Ana thinks of my novel? What would she say to me if she could?

I like to think that Meme, my mother Mercedes, and Ana, all passed on now, would be very pleased with me.

Peace and love,

Ellie

Tips on Finding Your Unique Writing Voice

All jeans are not made alike. You have bootcut, flared bottom, low riders, jeans with Lycra and Spandex, and old fashioned Levis. Most people have a favorite style, I know that I do.

That's the way it is with writers, as well--we're all different with very different voices. And, that's a good thing. There's no one size fits all in jeans, writers or readers for that matter. We like what we like. We write what resonates with us. We should write what we know or are interested in learning more about.

What does voice mean in writing and how does a writer find his or her own unique writing voice? When I wrote my first novel-length manuscript, A Decent Woman, I just wrote it. I didn't know what voice was other than I knew I sang bass in school and badly at that. I didn't know about branding or building a platform and I'm kinda glad I didn't. I might have been overwhelmed! Here are a few tips that worked for me.

READ, READ, READ.
Think about why you like to read what you read.
What genres appeal to you and why?
Examine why you like a particular author. Is it the story content, the style of writing or the book's settings and locales?
JOURNAL, JOURNAL, JOURNAL.
Get to know yourself through your blog or journal.
How would you describe yourself in a couple of words?
What did you like to do or read as a kid?

I was born in Santurce, Puerto Rico to a Puerto Rican mother and an American service member (yes, there's a difference, although we are American citizens). I was brought up in a bilingual family. I'd always had a love of classic Puerto Rican literature like La Charca by Manuel Zeno Gandia (considered by many to be the first Puerto Rican novel) and Dr. Manuel A. Alonso who write El Gibaro. My Puerto Rican grandparents owned two farms in Puerto Rico which I LOVED visiting. I also loved my Spanish classes and my yearly summer vacations on the island with my family. My Polish grandmother and my Puerto Rican grandmothers were great storytellers and I was a great listener. I am very family-oriented and at one time, I researched my family tree on both sides of my family--Polish, Russian, Italian, Canarian (Canary Island) and Puerto Rican. I love great adventure and reading about great adventures, the ocean, the Caribbean islands, history, historical fiction, and family sagas. I love crime drama, am a bit of a feminist, and always thought little girls needed a heroine. As a child, I loved to talk, draw and write stories and songs. As an adult, I worked as a bilingual social worker, a counselor and an alternative medicine practitioner. My sister and I love extreme weather.

Is it coming together for you? It was no big surprise that I would write an historical novel/family saga set in Puerto Rico in the early 1900's, based on my grandmother's lifelong friendship with her midwife. My protagonist Ana was a strong woman, an advocate for women's rights, a mystical and spiritual woman, who explored the idea of decency in early Puerto Rican society. The extreme weather aspect? My first chapter opens during a hurricane. Hurricanes and tropical storms are a way of life on the islands :)

I hope my tips help you explore and find your writing voice and, if not?
Just WRITE! Figure out your voice later. Your unique writing voice will come through writing, reading and writing some more. Good luck!

Peace and love,
Ellie

A Slice of Historical Fiction and a Dash of Confusion

The first question my new friend asked me when I told him I wrote an historical novel was "What years does it cover?" I answered that the novel begins in 1901 and ends in 1940. "A family saga after the Spanish American War."

I made a face. "Kinda, but not really."

"Who was the decent woman? Anyone famous or historical? You've named your novel, A Decent Woman."

"I guess you could say that it's a family saga," I said, "but, it's not a saga about one family. My novel is about the lives of two women during this time period and how their lives intersected, deviated and came together at the end."

My friend looked confused. I shared that Ana, my protagonist, was my grandmother's midwife, comadre, and the character of Serafina is based on my Puerto Rican grandmother.

"So, your main character isn't anyone famous, but you include Puerto Rican history. Did you include Hurricane San Ciriaco? That happened around that time." It was clear to me that he wanted to stay focused on dates in history.

"Hurricane San Ciriaco hit in 1900. My story begins in 1901. I investigated, researched, but I wrote about two women's lives."

"This is historical fiction? I thought historical fiction had to be about a real person and real events." Had I written an historical fiction novel or not? Was this a women from Venus and men from Mars conversation?

My friend is quite a history buff and is well-versed on the wars to include the Spanish- American War. We have great conversations about history, but he's not as well-versed on the history of Puerto Rico. He wants to learn about the history of the island, but didn't seem as interested in how my characters maneuvered life during that time in history which is what interested me in writing the novel in the first place!

"So, you kept to real dates in Puerto Rican history?"

I nodded. "Yep. I've included the hurricanes and tropical storms of that time frame and even included the earthquake that hit Ponce, the town where my story takes place. I'm accurate with women's daily lives--how they lived, loved and died at that time. I researched quite a bit, but I've always had a feeling that my novel and characters were set in history rather than an historical fiction novel based on a real person in history. It's the story of two women." 

"Well, it sounds like women's fiction to me," he said. My friend seemed confused and I felt as though we were destined to agree to disagree.

"I read more non-fiction than fiction," he admitted. "But, I am curious how you marry the two." He returned my smile.

I read novels for entertainment and I love historical fiction. But honestly, I don't want a history lesson when I read. I want to be entertained and swept away by events that the characters find themselves in. History by osmosis, perhaps. I'm a people person. I love novels about people and how they maneuver situations and life's challenges. My novel, A Decent Woman, is the story of an Afro-Cuban woman and a Puerto Rican woman who forge a fierce friendship despite differing racial, social and economic situations of the early 1900's. My novel is about how Ana and Serafina lived, thrived and overcame personal challenges while discovering who they were and what they were made of in a tumultuous slice of time of Puerto Rican history. A slice of time. I like that phrase.

I also like the description--a novel set in history rather than an historical novel. That works for me. I wrote a fiction novel that I hope will be as entertaining as it is historically educational in the literary sense of the word.

I'm okay with that.

Peace and love,
Ellie

Adventure, Adrenaline and Stimulation in Storytelling

The first chapter of my historical novel, A Decent Woman, opens in 1901 as Hurricane San Cirilo bears down on the southwestern coast of the island of Puerto Rico as my main character Ana, an Afro-Cuban midwife, ponders whether the souls of those lost to hurricanes return to claim the lives of sinners...and boy, has she sinned.

Many agents encourage writers NOT to open a novel with weather, so why did I choose to open my story during a hurricane? I chose that beginning because hurricanes are a fact of life living in the Caribbean as are childbirth and death. I was born in Puerto Rico and it made perfect sense to me.

This coming Saturday, the first of June, marks and opens the beginning of hurricane season 2013. NOAA predicts an "extremely active hurricane season for 2013." If you live on the coast, most probably, you will already know this. If you live near the ocean, you are already making preparations. If you live in a historically high impact area, you've probably already purchased batteries, water, canned food and for sure you know where your can opener and flash lights are. Perhaps you've bought a generator this year and you definitely have a battery-powered radio to keep up abreast of the inclement weather reports and alerts for your area. You might have purchased wood to board your windows and doors should you be in harm's way to protect your family, your home and its contents. If things get ugly, you have a family evacuation plan, an emergency plan and kit, and your car should be gassed up until November 30, 2013 when hurricane season ends.

I have a friend who lives on Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. She has two cars. One car sits in her garage, packed 365 days of the year with photo albums, family heirlooms, paintings, anything she deems precious, ready for evacuation. Her other car is her run-around town car. When I commented on how wonderful it must be to live in Hilton Head, she said, "You want to live in fear?" Hmmm...all is not perfect in paradise, but my friend remains. She has lived in Hilton Head for nearly ten years now and there is an evacuation route off the island to the mainland. There is no such bridge off the island of Puerto Rico nor neighboring islands. You're pretty much stuck and SOL--shit out of luck--so, you ride it out the best way you know how.

As a child and teenager, I spent practically every summer in paradise aka Puerto Rico with my grandparents and relatives. My sister and I would get out of school in the US in late May and fly TWA to San Juan with our mother where our relatives picked us up. We spent June, July and August in the southwestern city of Ponce where my family is from. As kids, we never thought about hurricane season, we just went to visit our grandparents and family for the summer, but I'm sure that my grandparents and my mother sure thought about it as our summer vacations always coincided with hurricane season. I certainly thought about it when I traveled to Puerto Rico with my own children during the summer months, but we went anyway. It's life.

My grandparent's house is situated near the city center of Ponce and we can drive to the beach, la Playa de Ponce, in ten minutes. My grandmother, Meme, grew on right on that beach and I always loved to hear her stories of life in the Playa. Meme's stories of living through tropical storms and hurricanes and even a devastating earthquake in Ponce always mesmerized me. I was the kid who sat her feet, listening and eating up every last word and description.

I've always been in awe of nature, Mother Nature and my grandmother. Meme, was the epitome of a storyteller. I took up the storyteller baton from Meme and still love a good storm. My sister and I share a love of inclement weather and we're not frightened by thunder and lightning. When we hear one of our areas is due a good thunder storm, we text each other and add a big smiley face and when it's a bust or blows around our area, we're bummed out. I don't really know where that comes from, but I have an inkling that it began with the adrenaline rush we didn't realize we grew up with by spending our summers in PR during hurricane season.

All I know is that as a kid, I was a handful. I constantly whined to my mother, "I'm bored!" I craved adventure, stimulation and couldn't wait to step off the airplane in San Juan. Maybe that's why my mother took us to PR for the summer. I was never bored there!

Writers write what they know, have lived and experienced. No surprises there.

Peace and love,

Ellie

I Sure Can Pick 'Em

Do you remember the Disney film with Kurt Russell where a chimp watches television shows and picks the top show of the week? I don't remember the title, but I do remember watching the movie as a teenager.  I also remember reading the newly published children's book, Jumanji to my kids when they were toddlers, saying, "This would make a great movie!" Later, I read Jurassic Park to my kids who were nine and seven at the time, thinking that a movie had to be made of that amazing book. When my daughter went to college and I was on my way back to Belgium via Puerto Rico to visit my cousin, I was reading, The Da Vinci Code. I read it in two days, couldn't put it down and really hoped to see it on the screen. Voila. My picker was right.

Another book I've always thought would be AMAZING on the silver screen is The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver. I would pay good money to see it. Maybe a movie studio has already bought the movie rights for the book and if not, why not? The book would make a fabulous movie in my humble. The other book is mine.

I smile now because as a new writer, the first draft of my historical novel, A Decent Woman was a screenplay of sorts. I was learning the ropes (still am) and very passionate about my book (still am). I just had to get the words down as quickly as I could and because I didn't know any better, I made lots of mistakes. I often said that the characters whispered in my ear as I wrote. I still have the first draft of my novel and I kind of cringe when I read the first chapter. The characters are interesting, but not fleshed out and the dialogue is a he said, she said type of ping pong match! There is more intrigue now with meatier chapters, fleshier characters, meaningful dialogue, flashbacks, and back story. As I've written draft after draft, I've learned a lot and I'm still learning. The more I read, the more I learn about the craft of writing.

When I wrote that first draft, I could see my characters as clearly as if they were standing in front of me. I saw the hurricane just off the coast, I smelled the salty ocean, heard babies cry, and felt the spray off the waves on my face as Ana stood thinking back to her childhood in Cuba. I cried with my heroines, prayed with them and laughed at what came out of their mouths. I heard them speak, whisper and I fell in love when they did. I rooted for my characters when they were in dire straits and although I dreamed of happy endings for them all, I complicated my character's lives and then tied up loose ends only to have another challenge present itself.

From the beginning draft of my novel to the draft I now hold in my hands, I've lived and breathed with my characters. As I patiently wait on the verdict of the exclusive read the agent asked me for - I am hopeful. I still see this book as a movie. I'd watch it :)

Patience, patience, and more patience on this blustery day in March.

Peace and love,
Ellie

Synopsis and Future Book Cover?

Last week, I was thrilled to be the first guest blogger of The Latina Book Club blog for their Writers Wednesdays - www.latinabookclub.com and as I reread the blog this morning, I realized I forgot to add something very important to my guest blog - the synopsis of my novel, A Decent Woman. Unreal.

I wrote about how I came up with my characters, Ana and Serafina, and although I added a bit at the end about what the novel is loosely about, it doesn't give a reader a sense of the book. I learned the hard way here, folks!

This morning, I offer you the synopsis of my novel as it appears in my query letter to potential agents:

In the male-driven society of 1900 Puerto Rico, women compete against each other for protection, respectability and economic support for themselves and their children. Ana, an Afro-Cuban midwife navigates poverty, racism, machismo and male doctors in a changing medical world. She is known as a “formidable and decent woman”, a caring and experienced midwife, but getting emotionally close to people is both Ana’s strength and vulnerability because of a secret that followed her from Cuba.

My 85,950-word historical novel, A Decent Woman, is the story of the friendship between the midwife Ana and Serafina, a high-spirited young woman who marries into Ponce high society. Despite differences in race and their places in society, the women forge a life-long friendship that will take them to the brink of insanity and the edge of death. Betrayal and resilience are common themes in my protagonist's lives and conflicts arise as the women are forced to look at the idea and definitions of decency that will threaten Ana's old secret as a new secret is born.

Creole in a Red Turban, was painted by Jacques Guillaume Lucien Aman, 1801-1888.  The interesting part to me is that when I began writing my novel in 2006, I described my heroine Ana as wearing a white turban and an off-the-shoulder white blouse. I found the painting on a Google Image search just last week. It's as if the lovely woman was waiting for me to find her and because of her, I'm inspired to paint a portrait of my heroine Ana for my book cover when I'm picked up by an agent and the book is published :) Yes, I can dream!

Ellie

Writers Wednesday at The Latina Book Club!

I took this photograph of my back patio early this morning and I was right - if you don't prepare for a snow storm, it snows! I'd prepared for several winter storm warnings many times this winter and nada. I decided to see if it would happen if I did nothing and it snows. We now have about four inches of snow and it's snowing hard!

I'm so pleased to be the first guest blogger/writer on The Latina Book Club, thank you for your kind invitation, Maria! It's an honor and privilege to write the first blog for Writers Wednesday!  My blog is up this morning, so please go take a look.

http://www.latinabookclub.com

The Latina Book Club's mission is to promote Latina/Latino authors, which we do through book reviews, author interviews, publicity announcements, book of the month selection, etc. A new feature we are adding is 'Writers Wednesdays.' The first Wednesday of each month we will feature a Latina/Latino writer talking about...writing. We welcome published and prepublished writers.

I decided to write about how I came up with the characters of Ana and Serafina in my historical novel, A Decent Woman. My story begins in 1901 in Ponce, Puerto Rico and chronicles the lives of Afro-Cuban midwife Ana Belen and the young socialite Serafina Martinez. The two women who despite the social and racial differences, forge a life-long friendship that will take them to the brink of insanity, the edge of death as Ana wrestles emotionally with her secret.

My link doesn't seem to be working, so please check it out! Could be that the power or my cable is about to go out, so I'd better be brief!

I enjoy keeping up with The Latina Book Club and love that Maria is inviting writers, published and unpublished to write blog posts about the writing life. The writer's life can be quiet and yes, sometimes lonely, so it's wonderful when we can 'meet' new writers and published writers through their blogs.

Stay warm and safe out there! Remember to share body heat when you can :)

Peace and love,
Ellie

That's Life - Asi Es La Vida

You see this Spanish-style house with the light blue shutters? I used to own it. The house sits between two vineyards in a small French village. It was sold after my divorce when I'd moved back to the US. I loved that house. We have many happy memories of that time in our lives.

There's a house in Puerto Rico with a tiled roof, very similar to this house. My grandparents used to own it. Neither house belong to me or my family any longer. Both houses were sold because life is life and it goes on whether we approve or like it one bit.

My maternal grandparents owned the house in Puerto Rico where I lived when I was a week old. That house was a constant in my life until my mother passed away in 1992 and my grandmother decided it was too much house for her after my grandfather passed away. I think she was running away from memories and the loss of two daughters, as well. I didn't blame her. You can't walk through the house without memories rushing in.

Family Christmas parties and parrandas, summer vacations from May to late August when my mom, sister and I would visit, and the year we lived with my grandparents, waiting for my father to return from Vietnam. The toilet where the iguana came out of and the chaos that ensued, graduation from high school when we lived in Puerto Rico for two years and returning to the island with my daughter when I was pregnant with my son. Another summer when my then-husband, my kids and I vacationed in PR when we lived overseas. So many memories. This house was my home - my refuge, my solace and my love.

So you see, this house isn't just a house to me. It is so much more than that. I'd wanted to buy my grandparent's house. While my then-husband and I considered the purchase, a family member bought it. I was bummed, but very glad that the house where I spent many happy times members would remain in the family. Her in-laws immediately moved in and lived there until she sold the house. I didn't know a thing about the sale until I visited Puerto Rico last December with my friend. I was dumb-struck and heartbroken when I'd found out it had been sold.

I parked the rental car across the street and immediately, I found it hard to speak. The white house was now painted a charcoal gray, not appropriate for a tropical climate. As soon as my friend D and I exited the car, I felt greeted by my departed grandparents, my mother, aunts and uncles and a cousin who died when he was 18. Memories of family photos taken in the front garden when I was little rushed in. I showed D the place where I cut the salamander's tail off to see if the myth was true about the tail remaining 'alive' afterward. The spot along the wrought-iron fence where a boy named Richard said he loved me just before my high school graduation and the enclosed porch, malquesina, where my daughter proudly showed her grandmother and great-grandmother her dancing skills while my son chased lizards in the back patio, under the huge mango tree.

I had tears in my eyes as the new owner's daughter gave me a tour of my grandparent's house. The floor tiles were the same, the remodeled bathroom was still yellow, and the kitchen where my grandmother lovingly prepared food hadn't changed. It will always be my family's house to me. My bedroom was non-recognizable, however. I got ready for my Junior and Senior Proms in that room, I cried there when my boyfriend died in a motorcycle accident, and when the room used to be my grandparent's room. There are stories of me as a toddler, ripping my grandfather's newspaper in shreds before he came home from the bank at noontime and of me as a teenager having a hissy fit that my grandmother was holding me hostage when my parents flew back to the US on business. She had a ring of keys to prove that she was in charge, much like a prison marm :)

I cried for my mother, my grandparents and the past as the tour came to an end. I had mixed emotions, I didn't know what to do with. I wanted to tell the new owner that she shouldn't have bought the house and at the same time, I was thankful that she'd been home and offered us a tour. I felt closer to my mother and my grandparents; there were around me, but I also felt like an interloper. I missed my mother so much at that moment and shook my head to compose myself as we headed to the cemented patio where a lush tropical garden had been.

"The mango tree is gone," I said to the new owner. She looked at me for a moment and said, "I didn't know you ever lived in this house."

Oh yes, I did. And, then some.

Some days, we're more nostalgic than others. Maybe it's all the cold meds I'm taking?

Peace and love,
E

The Research and the Writing

In my high school years, I received three medals which I was quite proud of - a First Place medal for English (writing), another First Place for Ancient History and the other medal was an Honorable Mention for chemistry which I swear must have been a mistake. That medal surely was meant for someone else. I just don't know how that one  happened, but I still have those medals in a box somewhere.

They were badges of honor for a kid who was enthusiastic about learning, but also had her head in the clouds and her nose in a book (not textbooks). One of my teachers wrote this in one of my high school yearbooks, "Eleanor has the attention span of a butterfly on a flower, but she can tell you all about that flower and its relationship with the butterfly."  He had me pegged at sixteen.

As many first-time novelists might admit and I will, I wrote my novel, A Decent Woman, without a plan. Sure, I had an outline and knew who my main characters were, but when I began to tell the story, I just wrote. I allowed my characters to tell their stories without a story board nor a stack of how-to writing books because I didn't know those books existed. I was in awe of writers and never thought that they didn't know what they were doing at one time nor that they'd been beginners like me. I thought they were born for greatness and were doing what came naturally. God had blessed them, I didn't question a thing.

Naively and naturally, I gravitated toward writing and doing research as questions and the need arose in my story. That seemed to work for me. I'd decided that I would write a chapter or two and then, do the necessary research to flesh out the scene, the descriptions and the characters. Naturally, writing a novel about life in Puerto Rico in the 1900's meant I had lots of questions and blanks to fill, mixed in with my grandmother's stories of how she cooked, cleaned and washed clothes when she was young with the limited resources available to her.

My then-husband, kids and I lived in Belgium when I began my historical novel, A Decent Woman and our library was small. I'd browse the titles and nothing jumped out at me. Honestly? I don't think I even knew what I was looking for, so the Internet became my research tool. Hurricanes - off to the Internet! I learned all I needed to know about the hurricanes, tropical storms and tropical depressions that passed near the island  and the direct hits to the island in the early 1900's. I learned about tropical waves that begin off the coast of Africa and the conditions for the perfect storm. I could easily spend hours doing research on the Web and I did. Soon however, I realized that I needed to keep writing and just research on a need-to-know basis. I had to remain focused and not be that butterfly on the flower! That worked very well for me, so I kept writing.

Questions about indigenous plants and flowers, burial practices in the early 1900s, slavery in Puerto Rico, and the lives of women on the island came flooding in at times. More research to be done!

As my story progressed, I added new characters that came with their own baggage, complications and goals that at times, didn't mesh with my heroine's goals, dreams and ideas. I learned to let go and let my characters loose just to see what would happen. The things my characters got into or were involved in boggled the mind, but I kept writing. I'd often say that my characters were whispering in my ear and looking over my shoulders at every turn. In those early days, I wasn't worried about finding an agent, I didn't worry about what other writers were writing and I certainly didn't worry about selling books. I had a story to tell and I figured that if I loved my story this much, certainly others would find it interesting. No one had read my novel-length manuscript yet. I kept it to myself.

While writing, I'd listen to CDs of period Puerto Rican music, to tangos my grandmother loved, I devoured archives of old photographs taken on the island for details on period dress, architecture and no detail, no matter how minute, escaped me. I interviewed older family members and friends born in Puerto Rico back in the day and asked them question after question. I even sent questionnaires to every Puerto Rican woman I knew about daily life and growing up on the island. Not only was I doing research for my book, I was also learning more about the place of my birth and that of my grandmother and mother. Writing this book has been a wonderful experience for me. The process has been healing, illuminating and yes, revealing.

I brought out my novel several times during the next five years while I got divorced, went back to school and worked long hours. The timing was right to keep the manuscript out in 2011. Timing is everything in life. I then began to read books on writing, plotting, character development, dialogue, story boards, advice, tips and writing the breakout novel. I was ready for those books and didn't mind going back with edits and rewrites. I found a great editor and with her fantastic ideas, suggestions and questions, I continued to edit and rewrite passages, scenes and chapters.

I still edit my novel (when do you know you're done?) with Puerto Rican music playing softly in the background and am surrounded by family photos, many of my grandmother and my mother, taken on the island and in the US. All their beautiful smiling faces encourage me, nod in agreement, laugh with me, and give me that look that says to me, "Keep going, you're getting closer."

Peace and love,

Ellie

P.S. I took the above photo on my most recent visit to Puerto Rico last December in beautiful Rincon.

Three Steps Forward and Two Steps Back.

Hi all,

As the Amtrak train rounded the bend toward my town, I reached into my purse to pull out my keys.  No keys!  I double checked and then remembered - they were on my sister's kitchen table.  Oh well.  I knew Junior, my dog sitter, had a house key and I have a spare car key at home.  Disaster averted as Junior answered his cell phone; he was on his way to my house.

I'm always happy to get home after a weekend away.  My house and garden looked great and it was lovely to be in my comfy bed with a good book last night - mine!  The hard copy of my manuscript arrived while I was gone.  I'd already made the changes my editor suggested (they were awesome changes) last week on Track Changes and now, I held 365 pages of my novel.  How wonderful is that?

This week, I begin fleshing out the friendships in my novel and working on Point of View (POV) which I've found to be quite difficult!  My editor has recommended taking out the two male character's POV which I totally agree with.  My target audience - women.  I get that and it makes sense to me.  So, on we go :)

I had a nice time with my children and my sister this past weekend, celebrating our friend Carmen's 80th birthday.  Carmen's three children, their families and nearly all her grandchildren were in attendance to include two new great-grandchildren.  Carmen looked beautiful and her family did a wonderful job putting her party together.  I was happy for her and happy that my children joined me in celebrating the special day.

As I looked around the Clubhouse dining room, I was reminded that all of my mother's friends have lost their husbands - all widows.  I wondered if that still holds true, that women outlive men.  None of these women were smokers nor heavy drinkers.  My grandmother outlived my grandfather.  They were the heads and hearts of their families.  My grandmother was certainly the head of our family - the Matriarch.

What am I as the eldest daughter of my family?  Am I the matriarch?  Does that still exist in this day and age?  Maybe it does.  I suppose I felt like the matriarch when I was still married and financially able to help my children and my family after my mother and grandmother died.  When someone had a problem or issue, I was ready and able to assist, but now as a divorcee living on a budget and two hours from my children - not so much.  I guess I did feel like a matriarch in those days and was always happy to help; just didn't give it much thought until yesterday.

My children have graduated from college and are on their own.  My sister and her children are doing well and my half-sister's children are pretty much on their own, as well. My kids know that I would sell my car and house if they were in dire straits and, thank God, they are doing more than well at this time.

My kids used to listen to my advice, suggestions and gentle words when they were in high school, in college and for a few years afterward.  These days?  Not so much!  They roll their eyes, disagree with me and poke fun at me.  My "words of wisdom" (judging by their reactions and facial expressions) must seem old-fashioned, out-of-touch and cooky to them :)  I've kind of given up the generational or self-imposed title of matriarch.  As they moved forward in their lives, so did I but it felt strange, at times.

I guess I thought I was the matriarch by default because my mother and grandmother has passed on.  Unlike my mother, grandmother, Carmen and her girlfriends whose husbands passed on, I was divorced and didn't fare as well as I probably would have if I were a widow.  Just sayin' and I wish him well :)

None of these women entered the dating world at 50 after divorce and none of them worked past 50 because they didn't have to.  For the most part, women of my mother and grandmother's generations just settled into living alone as widows and living for their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  Many of these women volunteered their time to favorite charities and their churches; they still do as I learned yesterday.

Do today's matriarchs date, live lives as single women and still take single's cruises?!  Do our children see us as matriarchs?  Do mine?  Is that word and title passe or non-existent?  I think my children would love for me to be a matriarch.  It's complicated...they don't like hearing about my dating life (non-existent at this time) and they'd love to see me married. I think my children secretly wish I would stay home and bake cookies like the old days when my world revolved around them.  By the same token, they wish I would get a life so that they can live theirs without my interference and two cents :)  It's a different generation.

My kids might not realize that I wish I could go back in time...but, it's NOT my reality at this time in my life.  It's not their fault - they were raised in a traditional, father works outside the home, mother stays home family.

So, I'm a 55 year old, single woman who still has dreams, goals and aspirations.  I have adult kids and I'm trying to figure out how I stay loyal to myself and parent adult kids IF we in fact, parent adult kids under 30!  I don't think we do.  I think my kids tolerate me and would pat my head like a good ol', loyal dog if they could :)

My youngest sister isn't the matriarch as she lives her life in MD and gets together with us on holidays and special occasions.  Is Carmen the matriarch of her family or is she just the oldest?  Why in the heck did I bother thinking that I was the matriarch, the family cheer leader, the wise old lady?  Delusional, right?  Am I more traditional than I thought?  Why did I think that being the head of a family was so damn important and why have I fought tooth and nail to keep my small family tight and close-knit?  No one else seems to be bothered by it.  We just get together when we can and go our separate ways afterward.  I've learned an important lesson this weekend.  And it's all good.

Well, it's no wonder I write fiction, for goodness sake!  I can be the matriarch in my novel, the heroine and the sage wise woman. As they say, I believe my debut novel is more of an auto-biographical than I thought.  I thought this blog would be about writing and my novel...and I guess it is.  These are the thoughts that come to mind as I edit.  Am I supposed to only write about writing?  Teach creative writing, give tips, and play the expert or is writing about life and what we've learned along the way WHILE we write?  I'm not really sure.

I just hate letting people down, but time and life lately have shown me that I'm not letting anyone down.  I was standing in my own way and didn't realize it.  I was hanging onto a role that no one wants me to play...HUGE light bulb moment here.  I'm okay with that now, but God help them if they want me to revert back.  You can't have your cake and eat it, too :)

Peace and love,
Ellie

We All Have a Book to Write.

Hi all,

I'm a person who believes that when you put your mind to something, a dream, a goal or a challenge, you can do it.  I also believe that when you decide what you want in your life, the Universe conspires to facilitate the process and the path.  

Yeah, that sounds like New Age lingo, doesn't it?  Well, I believe it because I've experienced it.  Any time I've decided to pursue a dream and reach a goal, I've known full-well that the prize wasn't going to be handed to me on a silver platter.  Dreams and goals require research, thought, soul searching, lots of hard work and at times, sacrifice.  As soon as I've done the necessary legwork, it's amazing...people and complete strangers have come out the wings and shadows to either walk beside me, mentor and assist me.

When I wrote a tribute to my Puerto Rican grandmother for her 90th birthday, I sent it to my female relatives.  The tribute was well-received which pleased me and my grandmother loved it.  I was one of those kids who sat Meme's feet, listening intently to her stories of growing up poor in the Playa de Ponce in Puerto Rico, marrying well and the struggles and challenges of being a woman/mother in the early 1900's.  My mother, Mercedes, knew all the stories and when we'd return from our summers on the island, she'd regale my sister Elaine and I with those stories we loved.

I showed my then-husband the tribute to my grandmother and he encouraged me to write an outline to see if I had "a book in there".  In fifteen minutes, I had an outline.  He said to me, "You've got a book to write."  He was right.  Right then and there, I sat at the computer and in six months, I'd written a 326 page novel.  With two kids at home and a husband/household to manage :) I finished it.  I'd always journaled, but a novel?  The idea never crossed my mind before.  I've always joked that the spirits helped me write this novel...and I'm not so sure that isn't true.

Through my research for my debut novel, I've met two professors of women's studies from various US universies in Washington, DC; I traveled to Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic interviewing women; and I traveled to Cacao in the mountains of Puerto Rico where my grandparents owned a farm with my cousin, Josefina. A stroll down Memory Lane for us.  I met two female Puerto Rican authors who I'm still friends with.

Synchronicity after synchronicity has occurred during my writing path and I am just amazed.  I am passionate about the arts and I love my story.  Fast forward six years and I'm still blogging, Tweeting, still meeting and communicating with latinas/latinos and hispanics from around the world.  I'm new to social media and I'm learning so much.  At times, I feel as if I've opened Pandora's Box with this novel and the marketing involved before, during and after publication!  To me, the Internet is mind-boggling and mind-blowing place that I'm learning to navigate and I'm not too proud to say I don't know and I'm always open for advice, suggestions, and comments!

Let me tell you, it takes a village to write a book!  We all have a book in us.  If you've felt the need to write and have dreamed of writing, do it!  Don't wait, my friend.  Jump in there and just start writing.  Sit your butt down and write.  I'm rooting for ya :)

Peace and love,
Ellie

Making Myself Comfortable on Blogger!

Hello!

I'm not a new blogger, not by a long shot!  I blogged as Ellie2008 on Thoughts.com since October 2007 (until yesterday) and had a brief foray as PracticalSpirituality365 for six months on the same site.  Thoughts.com is going through some major changes, so I moved on and I'm happy in my new home!

My Ellie2008 blog was primarily about the adventures and misadventures I experienced as a divorced woman in her 50's who is thrown into the dating scene after 27 years as a wife and at-home Mom.  My real life stories will make you laugh your ass off, might break your heart and cause you to make your husband breakfast in bed so that you won't be a single woman in your 50's!  Just kidding, of course!  I love being single :)

I also wrote some blogs in Spanish because I'm Puerto Rican born.  A proud Boricua from Ponce, Puerto Rico!  I was educated in the US, Puerto Rico and Europe.  I've lived in six European countries and am happy to be back on the US with my two gorgeous children, Heather and Matthew.

The Practicalspirituality365 blog was about lessons and things I'd learned along my path which is my life.  I started this blog as a way to give back for all the blessings in my life and it gave me much peace to write these blogs.

These two blogs are in my past, but believe me, the dating stories WILL be put to good use in my next novel.  Of course, a comedy!  You can't make that shit up :)

So, why am I here today, introducing myself to you?

I finished my first novel, "A Decent Woman" and I can't 'wait for you to read it!  My novel is an historical novel set in 1900 Playa de Ponce, Puerto Rico about the life-long friendship of Dona Ana, the Afro-Cuban born midwife and Leila, the young society wife whose family was poor before she married well; and the difficulties that society puts on these two women who strive and fight to remain friends.

My fabulous and generous editor Deborah has sent her editorial letter and edits to me this week and I'm very encouraged!  I want to begin this blog the night before I open those Track Changes!

I'm excited to share my writing life with you.  I'll be happy to share my lessons, experiences, mistakes and joys along the way to seeing "A Decent Woman" published.  And, I WILL be published :)  I've visualized it, dreamed it and tasted it...

I'm the new girl on the block and I'm happy to meet you!

Peace and love,

Ellie