That Important Last Read

How many times have you read your novel-in-progress from start to finish? Can you read your novel without wanting to change every other sentence you read?

I have a hard time with this! I've read individual chapters...oh, I would say about 100+ times and I've read the complete manuscript four times. It's time to read my novel again and today is that day.

It's a rainy, grey morning in West Virginia.  A perfect day for writing and reading; tomorrow promises to be as gloomy a day as today. Strange, right? Well, I always write well and am able to stay in my seat longer when the weather is nasty outside. I figure no one is doing anything fun outside, so I'm not missing anything! 

The temperature outside is right around 66*, so I feel cozy and warm inside with my sweats, sweater, socks and fuzzy boots--my favorite writing outfit. Actually, that's my favorite Fall outfit when I'm home! I've made necessary phone calls, emailed two friends and yes, I checked Facebook. I have a personal FB page and an author page which I keep up-to-date. I even tweeted a few lines to keep current and refer readers back to my blog. All necessary!

This morning, I've decided to read the novel-length manuscript of my historical novel, A Decent Woman, like a new reader would. I'm putting all markers, pens and pencils away and I'm turning off the cell phone. I will make a pot of tea, draw the curtains closed and sit on my couch with my fuzzy blue blanket over me to read my full manuscript...before I make any changes. That's a tough call for me at this point in the life of my book. I immediately see things that I could reword, improve on and explain more clearly! Argh! But, I'm holding back this morning.

I've hired the editor, done the rewrites and then, rewrote some more. I've taken out chapters that weren't helping with story momentum and fleshed out my protagonist even more. I've done all I can humanly do at this point, so all that's left is to reread my story from beginning to end.

Stay warm out there! I'm headed to 1900 Ponce, Puerto Rico in my mind and mind's eye...see ya on the flip side :-)

Ellie

Physical Signals, Mental Responses and Cues of Doubt.

Why have I posted this photograph on my blog today? I uploaded the photograph I took of a lovely cup of coffee because I just threw a perfectly good cafe con leche with two teaspoons of sugar down the kitchen drain. Cafe Bustelo, mind you! Puerto Rican coffee and the best coffee in the world. I even liked their Facebook page, that's how much I love Cafe Bustelo.

I write my blogs as a stream of consciousness writing exercise, so my plan this morning was to write a blog and then, begin editing my novel, A Decent Woman, with a new book that my friend, fellow blogger and chick lit author Meredith Schorr recommended: The Emotion Thesauraus: A Writer's Guide to Character Expression by Angela Ackerman & Mecca Puglisi.

I just can't say enough about that gem of a book! If you write novels and you don't own this book--run, do not walk to the nearest bookstore. I'm all about supporting our local bookstores, but if you must, buy it online!

Back to the reason I chucked that lovely cup of coffee down the kitchen drain. I quit smoking last Sunday and this morning, I tried to drink my first real cup of coffee since Sunday, Cafe Bustelo, thank you very much. I thought that five days would have been long enough, but as I took the second sip...I began to feel anxious. I tapped my foot, inhaled and exhaled slowly. Ommmmmmm. There was that urge to smoke. Ugh, my trigger reared its ugly head. At this time, coffee and tea remain my two biggest triggers for lighting up. I still can't trust myself. So instead, I posted a photograph of a cup of coffee I drank in real life back in April of this year.

I enjoyed that lusciously decadent kaffee melange with two teaspoons of caramel-colored Demerara sugar across the street from the Belvedere Palace and gardens in Vienna, Austria. The little glass at the top of the photograph did not hold a shot of something yummy, it held water.That's the way we used to drink cafe con leche y chocolate caliente in Puerto Rico--with a glass of water on the side. I've found this tradition in Belgium, France and Romania, as well. This was a lovely kaffee melange, I remember it well :)

This weekend I'm headed to the river with my neighbors, their first time at our river place. We're planning on fishing, boating and enjoying the river from our riverfront patio. I have a bottle of red wine at the river and I also have the fixings for Margaritas, but the jury is still out on whether I can partake in alcoholic libations at this time. I might enjoy iced tea or coffee instead or just plain water as I am now. No big deal, I love water and wasn't drinking nearly enough of it. I must say that my skin looks awesome with all the water I've been drinking this week. Not a bad thing!

So in a few minutes, I'm returning to my first novel-length manuscript armed with The Emotion Thesaurus. I'm excited to beef up my character's physical, internal, mental signals and behavior and their cues of acute, long-term and repressed desire, anger, anxiety, relief and hatred! Yes, they have them all!

"Cheers!" said Ellie as she cleared her throat, shoved her hands in her pocket, and avoided eye contact while worrying over her current path. Ha! I already love this book!

Peace and love,
Ellie

Read Your Novel Aloud - Tip of the Day

So, you have a great idea for a book. It's unique and you finally listen to your family and friends who have always encouraged you to write a book. You've never written a book before. Sometimes, you think that you could write better books than those you've read lately and at other times, you marvel at an author's artistry with the written word. You could never write a book like that. But then again, maybe you could and you should. I say you should.

One day, something inside you propels you forward and you decide that today is the day that you will begin to write a book. You might have a title in mind and you may even know how the whole book plays out. You've dreamed of your characters and they just won't leave you alone--they want you to write this book, too. There's a story to be told.

Writing your first book is much like buying your first car. You've dreamed about it, you know what color it will be and how cool you'll look driving that car around.  But as a young person or a person of any age who buys their first car, you're afraid. What if the book is dumb and you've wasted so much time on it? Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Trust me, write the book. It will change your life.

So, you decide you want to write the book more than you're afraid of it. You buy the car and you begin to write that book. Baby steps. You drive for a while and realize that could take a road trip! Why not? You have some free time or enough vacation days or a long weekend without the kids. You create a vision board of your destination aka your book with photos you've cut out that inspire you. Dreams are more vivid and you begin to meet new people who have been sent to you by the Universe because you've just made a momentous decision--you're going to write a book.

Hey, you've written a few pages! But, you stop. Who do you think you are? An author? You ignore the annoying censors in your head, those voices that have made you quit before, and you continue. What have censors done for you lately? Before you know it, you have a chapter written. Now what? You continue. You've got the bug and soon, you find that you're in deep. You can't stop now. Your characters need so much from you! They're depending on you to help them find their way in the crazy world you've built for them. You can't leave them on the side of the road and take a detour!

Armed with a map, enough gas for a long drive or a spontaneous road trip, you open the car door and invite your characters into the car and off you go. Now, you're in the middle of the book and kinda stuck. The ending you thought possible just might not be possible for your characters. Instead of forging ahead, you go back to Chapter One to do a bit of rewriting. This feels safe and you can pat yourself on the back for the chapters you have written. You take a few days off, but the book is calling you all the time, begging you to resolve the issues and celebrate with them at the end of the journey. So, you continue revising. But, remember that your characters are sitting with their luggage on the side of the road, ready to hitchhike. Call them over, trust me, they'll be ecstatic that you're continuing the journey--their journey!

While revising/driving, you come up with a brilliant ending, you change your protagonist's name just because you love that name and you know exactly what your characters must do and why. You realize you know what's best for them and you know how to achieve it. Leave  the beginning chapters alone for the time being and move forward with the next new chapter. Done. See that wasn't so hard, was it? You were afraid, that's all. Feel the fear and do it anyway! Get back on the road.

Hey, if you don't write this book, who will? Won't you hate to see someone else write a similar book? Won't you really hate it when you see a movie trailer with a similar story? It's going to bug you, trust me. You don't want to be that bitter person at the party who complains about the book that got away. Please don't ever be that person! Finish the book because no one can tell your particular story, but you.

You fill up your emotional gas tank, check under hood, change the spark plugs and you're moving steadily down the road. The drive is smooth and the way is clear. You wave at people on the side of the road who cheer you on. At times, you need to rest and you begin researching on the Web. It's a great idea. Take a breather when you need it, but get back in that car! Before you know it, you're over the middle hump and sailing toward the end. Feels great! You find yourself telling people at the next social gathering that you're a writer. Well, you are and you realize that not many people in your inner circle write books. Pretty cool, huh?

So, your book is done. What a major accomplishment! You join the ranks of writers around the world. You've written a freakin' book! Congratulations!! You've reached your destination and now what? It's been quite a journey with twists and turns, some U-turns and false starts, but you're there. Now what? You can't rest on your new author laurels for long, it's time to edit. You read your book, some friends and family have read your book, you find a great editor and now what?

You begin to edit your book. You edit and edit some more. You fill in the blanks with more research and you may find that during your research, that things might change. Your character might not have said what she said in Chapter 22 or you might come up with a gem of information that changes things around. Don't worry, it's all part of the process. Trust your gut! Yes, it takes a whole lot of hard work and determination to write a good book.

My advice is to keep reading, rewriting, take writing courses, read up on the craft of writing and keep editing. Join a writer's group, a critique group and meet other authors and writers. You're in great company. 

And, when you're confident that your book is ready, read it aloud. That's what I just did with my first book, A Decent Woman. I read it aloud last night and you know what? In the first chapter alone, I found sentences that needed strengthening and run-on sentences. I also found that in one short chapter alone, I used my protagonist's name three times. Gawd...

I'd never read my story aloud and THAT is my tip of the day. I'm going back to my novel in a few minutes to keep reading. More rewriting is in my immediate future :)

Happy writing to you!

Peace and love,
Ellie

Getting Back on the Horse aka Rewriting

Yesterday, I began the rewrites on a couple of chapters of my novel, A Decent Woman, after over a month away from my characters and my story. I had a major interruption with the city's letters to everyone on my historic district block to remove all chipping paint from brick. My brick duplex house wasn't as bad as others and it was a pain in my arse and my pocket book, but it was worth it.

I love how my house looks now and while I had the workman there, I had the old metal awning and storm door removed, as well. This morning, a friend picked it all up. My house looks like a proper row house now and my garden is happy with all the rain we've been getting. Now, if I could just NOT go onto Pinterest for ideas for a great looking front stoop!

Getting back to a manuscript after a month away feels much like falling off a horse and feeling a bit of fear about getting back on. But, if we intend to keep writing and are committed to writing, we have to get back on the proverbial horse. I intend to ride off into the sunset with my writing, but I had a few preparations to make to ensure a full day of writing. I have no plans for Memorial Day weekend, so I needed to set the stage for some profitable and positive writing time this weekend and into next week, as well.

I've already created the perfect writing space for myself in my dining room, but it needed clearing after being out of the country for a month. My head needed clearing, as well. I can't write with distractions. I called, texted and emailed my kids, friends and family. I checked Facebook for birthdays and okay, I played Words With Friends with my cousin's daughter and friend early this morning! I stacked bills in a pile for next week...there's always next week for bills. I cleared my dining room table cum writing table of unnecessary items, books, bills (ugh), and papers. I even dusted the table! Sounds silly, but we all have our creative rituals. I know when it's right and we all know our personal distractions. If I don't create the perfect writing space and time, no one will do that for me.

While the water boiled for tea, I perused Pandora for the right channel to listen to while writing. I selected my Rodrigo and Gabriela channel, two classical guitarists I love. When I'm writing, I can't listen to words. It's strictly instrumental for me and I LOVE Spanish songs played on a classical guitar, so Rodrigo and Gabriela, Armik, Jesse Cook and Ottmar Liebert are perfect choices. When I get tired of guitar, I switch to cello concertos, Bach or Mozart. I turned off my phone, closed the drapes so that I wouldn't be distracted by my garden and neighbors, and put the AC on as it's been really humid. I created my cave and immediately felt great and at peace. I made a pot of Earl Grey and patted my dictionary and thesaurus. I keep a photo of my mother and grandmother nearby as well as a picture frame with a photograph of my children that I love. I said my prayers.

The last thing I did was remove the Writer's Digest Novel & Short Story Writer's Market and the Guide to Literary Agents books from the dining table so that I don't think about being picked up by an agent, my author platform or a publishing while I'm writing. I need only think about writing the best novel I know how to write; a book I'm proud of. The rest will take care of itself or I'll self publish...which I think about more and more.

As I write this blog post, my Pug snores lightly on the floor beside my chair and the cat is draped across my coffee table. Again, I'm reminded of how blessed and fortunate I am to be doing what I love. I'm grateful. I created this writing world and life for myself and I'm enjoying it to the max.

All is well in my writing world this morning! Ahem, it's actually 1:24 pm, but who's checking :)

Happy writing to you.

Ellie

Patience, Prayer and Being Proactive in Publishing

So, my horoscope for May says that this is the best month of the year for Virgo which would be me. Apparently, my houses of fame and recognition are highlighted this month, specifically in the fields of writing and publishing. Woot! Well, that is IF you believe in horoscopes, astrology, the planets and stars aligning for our highest good. I'm a middle of the road believer in astrology, but of course, I'm rooting for the planets this month. Yes, to writing recognition and a publishing contract! I'm in!

This morning, a friend posted a quote on Facebook which I can't remember verbatim, but it basically says that good things come to those who wait. Hmmm. I believe in patience and praying. I do. Lord knows, writers need and require tons and tons of patience and prayers. I pray, but I also believe that God gave me a brain. As in, I can't just sit here and wait for something to happen for me--I have to be proactive. For that publishing contract to happen, I have to query, query and keep querying agents.

It's like the joke about the guy who is sitting on the roof of his house in a flood. He's calling to God, pleading for Him to help him escape and survive the flood. A guy in a row boat approaches the house and encourages the man to jump into his boat, but he says, "No, I'm afraid I'll fall into the water and drown! Go on and save yourself! God will save me!" The man in the row boat can't convince the man. He shrugs and rows away.

In a few minutes, a helicopter flies by and spots the man on the roof. The pilot circles back, throws down a ladder and yells for the man to grab a hold and he'll fly him to safety. But, the man yells back that he's frozen in fear and is afraid that he'll grab for the ladder, miss it and be thrown into the flood. The helicopter flies away.

The man calls out to God, again pleading for Him to save him. God answers, "Boy, I've sent you a boat and I've sent you a helicopter, what are you doing to save yourself?! Use your brain, man!"

So, I'm a bit superstitious and IF I get an agent and a publishing contract this month, I will always and forever believe in astrology!! But to be on the safe and sane side, I'll keep praying, working on my novel-length manuscript, A Decent Woman, and I'll keep querying agents :)

Happy Friday to you!

Peace and love,
Ellie

Writing Momentum and My Inner Child

I want to spend the day writing after four weeks of international travel and visiting family and friends in Europe and the DC area, but...I'm feeling scatterbrained. I visited and toured three countries with my best friend and then, a long-time, dear friend died while I was gone. I don't know if I just had too much excitement or what. Maybe I'm just plumb tired and overstimulated! I'm 55. I guess I'm allowed a bit of tired after a wonderful vacation that continued into the following week with visiting with friends and family in the US.

I arrived in the US and stayed with another friend for two days before heading home for two days. Then, I got on another train and headed back to the DC area for my nephew's graduation and Mother's Day. On Monday, I stayed with my friend's daughter and we grieved the loss of her mother and my dear friend. A lot of emotion and activity for one lady.

I truly don't know what day it is and when I woke up, for a split second I didn't know where I was. If it's Tuesday, this must be Belgium! Wasn't that a movie from the 70's? Must look that up...and look at my phone so that I can find out what day it is because I honestly have no clue.

Anyway, I LOVED visiting my friends and enjoyed a beautiful Mother's Day with my children. I wouldn't trade those special moments and new memories for anything, but, it sure was nice to sleep in my own bed last night. I had a great night's sleep and so did my furry babies. We had a very nice reunion last night. Ozzy the Pug is at my feet, snoring softly and Pierre the Maine Coon kitten looks like a sphinx, lying on the window sill, watching cars go by. The kitten's tail is swishing from side to side and Ozzy's rhythmic breathing is kinda making me sleepy. Am I still jet lagged?

It's early on a cloudy morning and the weather people are calling for rain, two days of rain which is perfect writing weather. I have a bad feeling that I won't be able to write today, though. I feel pulled in too many directions this morning. I don't feel grounded. Actually, I feel a bit jittery. Have I already had too much tea? Is the Universe conspiring against me writing today? 

I had a mental to-do list going on the train home last night. I just hate that. I want to get stuck in my manuscript and I want the world to slow down. I resent having to clean my house, pay bills, do laundry and I'm feeling my Inner Child come out! I want to be alone with my characters and my story. I want to get reacquainted and I want to work on the issues the agent in NYC suggested I work on. I want to write! I'm feeling a mid-life tantrum coming on. "I'm not doing that because I don't wanna!"

I must return to saying, "No, thank you," to invitations during my work week and this weekend will be spent at home alone. I've just decided. I've seen most of my good friends during the last four weeks and it was wonderful. Time to get to writing and spending some quality alone time with me, myself and I...and with my furry babies who need their yearly shots, nails clipped and Ozzy could do with a bath. Crap...even the animals are pulling me away from my manuscript. I miss my friend in Austria dearly

Just before I departed for Austria in late April, I was gaining ground with my manuscript, A Decent Woman and had a daily writing schedule that I was very happy with. On Mondays, I cleaned my house (lightly cleaned, let's not lose our heads here, I don't love housework) and I did the laundry. I paid bills and wrote replies to emails. I also cut my grass and weeded the garden a bit. After all that was done, I had Tuesday-Sunday to write and blog. I was one happy camper, but don't get me wrong--my European vacation was awesome!! I wouldn't trade that experience with my friend for nothing! We had a super time together and we have new memories that will never be forgotten.

I've arrived home mid-week and I'm feeling discombobulated. Time for a list! A list will help ground me and I'm a great list maker. That's what I need to do--make a list to regain my momentum at home and with my novel. I'm behind on bills and my house needs scraping and repainting...which began today. I'm tired just thinking of all that.

Hey. I just thought of something. I'm a fiction writer...if I want today to be Monday, it shall be so. If I choose tomorrow to be my To-Do List Fictional Monday, no one will be able to convince me otherwise! My Inner Child is alive and well. 

Time to check the phone to see what day it is and to look at the 1,000 plus photographs I took in Austria, Hungary and Romania :)

Peace and love,
Ellie

Planes, Trains, Metro and Automobiles

No, I'm not dreaming of a white Christmas nor is it anywhere near December. My sister posted this photograph of us on her Facebook page and I nabbed it. As with old family albums and lack of know-how, my sister and I share the albums which means she has many photographs that I don't have and vice versa. I don't have a scanner at the moment and would love to purchase one so that we each have a complete family album.

Photographs. Many people complain about Facebook and many have decided to jump ship through the years for various reasons, but I have to say that enjoy it. Many days, I have to force myself NOT to check FB. It can get addicting. I have friends in many corners of the world and this is how I keep in touch with them. I keep up with my kid's and family's news, chronicled with photographs. If I lose my camera or my iPhone, well my photos are relatively safe on FB. If I drop my laptop and shatter my hard drive (which I've done) and lost it all, my photos are safe on FB.

Social media. Author platform. Many have a love-hate relationship with social media and authors...well, get used to it. It's now part of the author/publishing/marketing experience. There's no escaping Facebook, Twitter, writing a blog, reviewing other authors, and writing essays in magazines and ezines, it is what it is. Much as I dislike tooting my own horn ad nauseum (that's what it seems like to me), I know that I have to keep up-to-date and active on these accounts. I must put myself  'out there' for my novel's sake and for the sake of adding numbers to sales once I'm published. Yes, I'm taking the positive route here.

On being published. Well, that seems a long way off on this chilly Spring morning in Northern Virginia. I spent three wonderful weeks in Europe with my friend and her family, flew back to the US a week ago and four of those days were spent in Northern Virginia with my super kids, family and friends for my nephew's graduation, a cemetery visit with my friend N and for Mother's Day which was amazing! Tonight I head to my friend's N's daughter's house. I haven't seen her since her Mom passed away. Should be an emotional evening and I'm happy to be with her and her children for one night. Then, I head home tomorrow afternoon.

NO complaints. But...I'm ready to get home. I want to fully unpack, wash my clothes and wake up in my own bed, make coffee in my coffee press, fire up my laptop, kiss my furry children, check and enjoy my garden, and return to my normal routine. I'm excited for my writing routine to commence as well after nearly four weeks away from my novel-length manuscript, A Decent Woman. It's time to put the pedal to the metal as they say. I have some work ahead of me before I can resubmit my manuscript to the NY agent.

Precious moments. Although I'm a bit weary, I wouldn't change a thing about the experiences I've had this past April and May. I never dreamed I'd return to Europe. I ran for domestic and international flights, found the Viennese house I shared with my ex-husband and two beautiful children 25 years ago, I walked through Austrian vineyards, up cobblestone streets and snuck under a fence to reach a heuriger for a icy cold Radler beer with my friend K. I marveled at Gothic and Baroque architecture in Vienna, onion-topped Orthodox churches in Romania and was introduced to Gyor, a Hungarian city I'd never been to. I rode an elevator up to the top floor of Stephansdom to view the frescoes, visited nearly every church and palace in Vienna, and witnessed an awesome lunar eclipse as the full moon rose over the Carpathian Mountains as my friend K and I approached Brasov, Romania. I shared my nephew's happy graduation and had the most beautiful Mother's Day with my children. I visited with my departed friend N at her grave site. I will miss her.

Tomorrow afternoon, I'll be on the train home.

All blessings, every single one. Special memories.

Peace and love,
Ellie

European Update & Cutting Characters from My Novel

My friend K and I are back at her home in Wien (Vienna) for the weekend before my flight back to the US on Monday after spending a few days in Hungary on our way to and from Romania. I can't remember when I've enjoyed a trip more!

We stayed in Gyor, another Hungarian city I was unfamiliar with and would visit again. What a lovely little jewel of a city! K and I didn't have time to take a proper tour, but walking through the town square and down little streets is usually all I need to get a good sense of a town, village or city. We sat in the town square sipping Radler beers, eating amazing goulash soup with crisp frites and people watching while the sun set behind the main church on the square. Amazing.

K and I had both been to Budapest, Sopron and the Lake Balaton region, so we headed home early to have more time in Vienna. I still wanted to visit the house my ex-husband, children and I lived in 25 years ago. I also have several churches and the Belvedere Museum I would love to go through and enjoy before my departure on Monday morning.

                                                          . . . .

So, yesterday was May 1, also called May Day in Europe and Labour Day in England. K and I decided to head back to my old stomping ground of the 19th district in Vienna. We bought two gorgeous lilac bouquets along the way and found my old street address on her map. Nothing looked familiar as we approached my old street, but when we turned the corner and looked up the steep, cobblestone street, I remembered...memories of pushing the English pram that held my three year old and one year old came back to me. Some things you never forget. My body remembered the strain and I remembered how difficult it was for me, a young mother with no German language, living in Vienna at the time. Vienna was our first overseas posting as a young married couple and the first time I lived in Europe as an adult, not an Army dependent. My children are now 28 and 24 years old and I am happy to have photographs to share with them.

As I write this blog post, my long-time friend is still in hospice in Northern Virginia. Her daughter and family have decided to take her off antibiotics that aren't helping with a severe infection that is coursing through her body and the last thing I heard was that the family had also decided to take her off the feeding tube...all very emotionally charged and strained. I don't know if everyone in the family is in agreement with this decision. I will only support their decision and my very private opinion will remain that...private. I've asked the necessary questions (to me) and I'm leaving that to the family and God.

I also received a very kind note from the agent who had the exclusive read on my manuscript, A Decent Woman. His recommendation to take out the chapters of Serafina, the second most important protagonist in my novel, is spot on. I've often thought that my two female protagonists were vying for first place. Years ago, I wondered if the story would be better served by focusing solely on Ana and have Serafina be a minor character. I will do just that. I highly concur with him. It is Ana's story to tell. The narrative momentum must remain strong.

I've decided to save the original manuscript and make a copy where I remove Serafina's chapters and rewrite, rewrite, rewrite. Last night, I emailed the agent to ask whether he would accept a second look at my manuscript once I make the necessary changes and beef up Ana's story. He said yes last night. I was thrilled.

This morning, I have renewed faith and again, have hope that I'm on the right track with this book and this agent. He has seen something in my story worth pursuing...or he's been super polite. Regardless, I am highly encouraged by the agent's quick responses to my emails this week and his "yes" in answer to my question about resubmitting.

Early next week when I depart Vienna and arrive in the US, I begin the rewrites after I am reunited with my precious children and visit the hospice on my way home to my furry babies in WV. 

My lifelong friend's battle with life is precarious at this time and I am again reminded of how precious life is. This trip has reminded me of how beautiful life and the world is. I'm very thankful to my friend K and her family for the kind and gracious invitation to spend three weeks with them. She gave me a beautiful gift.

Peace and love,

Ellie