Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Writing Momentum and My Inner Child

I want to spend the day writing after four weeks of international travel and visiting family and friends in Europe and the DC area, but...I'm feeling scatterbrained. I visited and toured three countries with my best friend and then, a long-time, dear friend died while I was gone. I don't know if I just had too much excitement or what. Maybe I'm just plumb tired and overstimulated! I'm 55. I guess I'm allowed a bit of tired after a wonderful vacation that continued into the following week with visiting with friends and family in the US.

I arrived in the US and stayed with another friend for two days before heading home for two days. Then, I got on another train and headed back to the DC area for my nephew's graduation and Mother's Day. On Monday, I stayed with my friend's daughter and we grieved the loss of her mother and my dear friend. A lot of emotion and activity for one lady.

I truly don't know what day it is and when I woke up, for a split second I didn't know where I was. If it's Tuesday, this must be Belgium! Wasn't that a movie from the 70's? Must look that up...and look at my phone so that I can find out what day it is because I honestly have no clue.

Anyway, I LOVED visiting my friends and enjoyed a beautiful Mother's Day with my children. I wouldn't trade those special moments and new memories for anything, but, it sure was nice to sleep in my own bed last night. I had a great night's sleep and so did my furry babies. We had a very nice reunion last night. Ozzy the Pug is at my feet, snoring softly and Pierre the Maine Coon kitten looks like a sphinx, lying on the window sill, watching cars go by. The kitten's tail is swishing from side to side and Ozzy's rhythmic breathing is kinda making me sleepy. Am I still jet lagged?

It's early on a cloudy morning and the weather people are calling for rain, two days of rain which is perfect writing weather. I have a bad feeling that I won't be able to write today, though. I feel pulled in too many directions this morning. I don't feel grounded. Actually, I feel a bit jittery. Have I already had too much tea? Is the Universe conspiring against me writing today? 

I had a mental to-do list going on the train home last night. I just hate that. I want to get stuck in my manuscript and I want the world to slow down. I resent having to clean my house, pay bills, do laundry and I'm feeling my Inner Child come out! I want to be alone with my characters and my story. I want to get reacquainted and I want to work on the issues the agent in NYC suggested I work on. I want to write! I'm feeling a mid-life tantrum coming on. "I'm not doing that because I don't wanna!"

I must return to saying, "No, thank you," to invitations during my work week and this weekend will be spent at home alone. I've just decided. I've seen most of my good friends during the last four weeks and it was wonderful. Time to get to writing and spending some quality alone time with me, myself and I...and with my furry babies who need their yearly shots, nails clipped and Ozzy could do with a bath. Crap...even the animals are pulling me away from my manuscript. I miss my friend in Austria dearly

Just before I departed for Austria in late April, I was gaining ground with my manuscript, A Decent Woman and had a daily writing schedule that I was very happy with. On Mondays, I cleaned my house (lightly cleaned, let's not lose our heads here, I don't love housework) and I did the laundry. I paid bills and wrote replies to emails. I also cut my grass and weeded the garden a bit. After all that was done, I had Tuesday-Sunday to write and blog. I was one happy camper, but don't get me wrong--my European vacation was awesome!! I wouldn't trade that experience with my friend for nothing! We had a super time together and we have new memories that will never be forgotten.

I've arrived home mid-week and I'm feeling discombobulated. Time for a list! A list will help ground me and I'm a great list maker. That's what I need to do--make a list to regain my momentum at home and with my novel. I'm behind on bills and my house needs scraping and repainting...which began today. I'm tired just thinking of all that.

Hey. I just thought of something. I'm a fiction writer...if I want today to be Monday, it shall be so. If I choose tomorrow to be my To-Do List Fictional Monday, no one will be able to convince me otherwise! My Inner Child is alive and well. 

Time to check the phone to see what day it is and to look at the 1,000 plus photographs I took in Austria, Hungary and Romania :)

Peace and love,
Ellie








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