Well, life sure does throw us curve balls at times, doesn't it? Sometimes, I understand what's going on is for my highest good and other times...I just don't get it. This would be one of those times. My heart understands this decision, but my Inner Child is having a tougher time.
I was one of the first writers to register for the Second Annual Latina/Latino Writers Conference in Brooklyn, NY on Oct 5, 2013 and boy, was I excited. I was staying with great friends in the Bronx after the one-day conference and was to attend a volunteer dinner dance with my friends that evening in honor of all the people who helped their beach club, the Manhem Club, get ready for Inter Club races after Hurricane Sandy destroyed their pier. I volunteered a teeny bit during my last visit and was looking forward to seeing them all again.
Everything was planned and the green light was on until this past weekend. By Saturday evening, the green light was amber with a twinge of red after I spoke with my step-mother. By Sunday evening, red was the predominant color and I couldn't see my way back to green.
You see, my 82 year old father suffers from Alzheimer's disease and his wife, my step-mom just had back surgery. They both need a break and when they asked me to visit them in Florida in late October, of course, I said yes. My father and his wife haven't had a vacation in three years and I know that caring for my father and his illness isn't easy. I don't know how many years I have left with my father and I couldn't afford both the conference and NYC weekend and a trip to Florida. So.
For me, it was clear--I had to give up the writers conference, my first writers conference. I was very bummed, but I knew Florida was the right choice for me.
So, I offered my paid conferee spot back to Dr. Nina Comstock of Las Comadres Organization who is hosting the writers conference and I'm hoping someone can take my place for free. In the scheme of life, not going to the conference is small potatoes. Family has always been very important to me and well, I can only do so much with what I have. I understand all this rationally, but...I'm not always rational :) I'm still bummed out.
What I'm left with is to continue to query agents and publishers and continue writing my second novel. The Conference just wasn't meant for me at this time. I wish all the participants and conference organizers a wonderful Second Annual Latina/Latino Writers Conference!
Felicidades y buena suerte a todos! A la proxima!
P.S. I had a little honest conversation with God this morning and that blog post will appear after this one. Writing out my feelings helps me understand difficult situations!