This morning I'm listening to Amelie: Comptine d'un autre ete and it has me thinking of my father and other summers with him.
* I'm not sure if the video will show up and if not, I'm sorry about that. I'm still learning.*
Alzheimer's disease. Dementia. My father has Alzheimer's. Not full-blown where he doesn't remember his daughters or his second wife...but I know that day is coming which makes me sick to my stomach. He is still at home, but needs 24 hour care from his wife who is exhausted. My father forgets that he just ate and what he did five minutes ago, even if he expressed joy in the activity. It's such a frightening disease.
My father walked into the bedroom where my sister were sleeping and asked what we were doing in his house. We told him that we were visiting and he was happy and ten minutes after we put him to bed, he returned to ask what we were doing there.
There is a new urgency to my life, more than before my last visit. Time waits for no one.
My father is a reminder to me that time is passing and with the passing of time come many changes in our lives and bodies. My face shows signs of aging; light wrinkles around my eyes when I smile and feathery lines at the edges of my smile. My belly and thighs are softer than in my 40's and I now tire after walking up a steep flight of stairs.
Thanks to my gracious step-mother, we enjoyed a wonderful visit in sunny Florida with her and my father, creating memories that we will keep and treasure. But, my thoughts are on my mind and all that I have left to do in my writing life.
I've written a novel and am writing a second which keeps my mind active. I do research for my novel and I travel quite a bit. I'm keeping my mind healthy because we never know what's coming down the pike for us...sometimes at warp speed.
The mind. What a beautiful and complex mystery.